Tuesday, December 31, 2013
























Keeping abreast: Hazards of picking wives based on mammary-gland size & politicians based on...

   
If you are a guy who is out looking for a bride who you would want to spend the rest of your life with, what qualities would you look for in a perspective life's companion?  Compatibility?  Sunny disposition?  Common interests?  Kind heart?  Brains?  Earning capacity?  What?  Remember that we're talking about selecting a wife who you will have to hold conversations with for approximately two hours a day over the course of the next 60-odd years (that's 43,800 hours) -- and even wake up next to each morning approximately 21,900 times. 

     All too many American males these days seem to pick their future life's companion based solely on her mammary gland size.  Good luck with that one!  60 years from now, your wife's mammary glands will be a moot question, but you will still have to talk to her -- and you'd probably be bored out of your mind by that time if you have selected her for her breast size alone (or, conversely, if she had married you solely based on the look of your sexy six-pack package, she might be bored out of her mind by that time too!)

     So here's some good advice, gentlemen (and ladies as well):  Pick your future spouses based on the size of their minds and their hearts, not on the size of their implants! 

     And I wouldn't recommend Phil Robertson's method of picking wives either -- which just might land you on a sex-offender registry for the next 60 years. http://www.addictinginfo.org/2013/12/29/phil-robertson-marriage-advice/  But then apparently Robertson and his duckie friends used to be just one more bunch of yuppie fraternity boys trying to break into "The Hills" until they discovered they could make more money by representing southerners as ignorant unwashed bigots.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KW343K1-upo&sns=fb

     And this same rule -- of seriously examining long-term consequences before making important decisions -- also needs to be applied to how we pick our politicians as well.
 
     Selecting a congressional representative or president or governor or even local dog-catcher based solely on information you have gleaned from the Koch brothers, Citizens United and Fox News may make you feel good at the time -- but 60 years down the road when the planet has been destroyed by pollution, radiation, Endless War and climate change and you are poor as a church-mouse because there are no more unions or Social Security to protect you and your children are uneducated and starving on sweatshop wages, you will definitely look back on those elections and say, "What was I thinking!"

     And also do try to apply this "Mind and Heart" rule to how we select our healthcare as well.  Let's try to be more aware of what happens next, cause and effect, in this respect too, before we fall for all those pretty ads that tell us that Sutter or Humana or Blue Cross is "On Our Side" -- while behind closed doors these guys are happily screwing America's doctors, nurses and patients, people like us, for every penny of ours that they can get their hands on.  http://www.nationalnursesunited.org/ 

     Approximately
1,800 Americans die from lack of healthcare per day http://www.michaelmoore.com/books-films/facts/sicko.  In the next 3,650 days, we will needlessly lose approximately 6,570,000 Americans -- stone cold dead so that CEOs of health insurance companies can own yachts.  Where is the long-distance thinking here?  Where is the outrage?  http://www.tv.com/shows/greys-anatomy/transplant-wasteland-2676177/
 


     When you look at the long run, only single-payer healthcare makes sense.


    Bottom line:  It's time to start seriously keeping abreast of our long-term hopes, goals and aspirations here in America, or else we're never gonna find any long-term happiness here either -- just an empty handful of public-relations-generated illusions and a whole big bunch of "Coulda shoulda woulda...."  

PS:  Another way that Americans are constantly being fooled is by having our strong sense of justice, honesty and morality turned inside-out and then used against us.  If someone on TV keeps telling Americans over and over again that acts of murder, theft, lying, bigotry and greed committed in our name are actually just good Christian values, Americans naively tend to believe this. http://www.alternet.org/story/19811/a_man_of_his_words 

    As a whole, Americans are kind, generous and moral people who always want to do the Right Thing.  But what is the right thing?  Bankers who steal from both our government and their clients?  Corporations who deliberately sell us junk that will kill us and happily poison our air if it saves them a buck?  War profiteers who send our sons and daughters overseas to act as their personal goon-squad thugs and then send our same sons and daughters back home in a box when their usefulness is over?  And racists and bigots who thump the Bible in order to justify their own evil ways?

      Justice?  The Ten Commandments?  Freedom and patriotism and the First and Second Amendments?  Most Americans believe in these things -- and so these very beliefs, the solidly-felt beliefs of good people, are constantly being used against us by Bad Guys in order to pillage and lie and steal in the name of God, apple pie and the Flag.

     It's time for Americans to start keeping abreast of what is really happening to them -- not what is only supposed to be happening.  And it's time for our leaders in sheep's clothing who are always talking the talk to actually start walking the walk as well -- of justice and fairness and morality -- or else go off to jail where they belong.  "Thou shalt not murder, steal or bear false witness..." must apply to us all.

PPS:  And speaking of breasts, apparently we ladies should also be keeping our breasts away from the Pacific ocean forevermore -- if we don't want to get cancer.  Why?  Toxic radiation. 


     Here's a video of some guy with a Geiger counter walking along a beach near San Francisco.  Just watch his Geiger counter jump up from a normal reading of 34 to an outrageously-high and dangerous reading of 156 as he approaches the Pacific ocean.  Please Please Please let this video be a fake!  Otherwise we females here on the West Coast are clearly in big trouble.  http://topinfopost.com/2013/12/26/fukushima-radiation-hits-san-francisco.

     However, somebody else just wrote to tell me that I should stop worrying about radiation drifting over here from Fukushima.  "Why worry about Fukushima when
47,500 55-gallon steel drums containing nuclear waste had already been dumped out near the Farallon Islands between 1960 and 1970, and there's a fair chance that those barrels might be now starting to corrode and open.  So why would anyone be surprised by high levels of radiation at a beach near San Francisco?  And why assume that it's coming all the way from Fukushima, more than 5000 miles away --  when so much was dumped here, just 30 miles away?"  Why indeed.

     We shoulda looked more closely at who we voted for 60 years ago!


*************************************
*************************************

Advertizements for myself: In these hard times of brutal (and illegal) corporatist ball-busting socialism-for-the-rich-only, I am doing whatever I can to make a spare dollar. Here are some of my current alternate-economy schemes that never seem to work -- but I keep hoping!
******

If anyone ever wants to hire me on as a travel writer (or war correspondent), "Have laptop, will travel!"



******
 
Need someone to help you throw out stuff? I'm really good at deciding what needs to be thrown out (starting with all those corporate-owned bums in Washington!)

****

Need an actor to play an older woman in your movie?
Then I'm your man! I can portray all kinds of older women -- from judges, business execs and other insane zombies to bag ladies, cancer patients, kindly grandmothers and dying patients in rest homes. I've played them all. So send me a script and let's do this. Hollywood, here we come! Here's my reel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C91uEYjLUXA

****
Are you a plaintiffs' attorney who is tired of writing those pesky personal injury settlement briefs all the time? No problem! I can write them for you. Years of experience. And pay me only if you win the case.
****


I recently got my Notary Public commission!

Need a Notary Public? Have seal, will travel. E-mail me at jpstillwater@yahoo.com and I'll stamp your document, make it official and only charge $10. Of course if you live outside of Berkeley, I may have to charge travel expenses -- but am well worth it!

****
Want something good to read? Buy my book! "Bring Your Own Flak Jacket: Helpful Tips for Touring Today's Middle East," available at Amazon and Barnes & Noble. http://www.amazon.com/Bring-Your-Own-Flak-Jacket/dp/0978615719/ref=cm_pdp_rev_itm_title_1. It's like if Jack Kerouac, Mark Twain and/or Janet Evanovich went to war.

I also wrote a book about going on Hajj (also included as a chapter in "Bring Your Own Flak Jacket," but this book is cheaper -- but it's worth buying them both!) My book on the Hajj is so outstanding that I bet even Christian fundamentalists will love it! Please buy it here: http://www.amazon.com/Mecca-Hajj-Lessons-Islamic-School/dp/0978615700/ref=cm_rdp_product

****

"Imagine a world where EVERY child is wanted, nurtured, protected and loved: World peace in one generation!"
You can now buy T-shirts, coffee mugs, tote bags, truckers' caps, baby gear and/or teddy bears with this logo printed on them. They make great gifts, especially for parents and teachers. To purchase, just click here:http://www.cafepress.com/StillTWaters

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTiqVCTMaMEgkTRhPenqIefocM4Ov6OwXPD0Ys-DI8GblFCdA-sjGWzIc5F64b7vCMm0iwwL2AYkD2pi9xPT6tsd4Oqgr4O6tuO3QN3cyg0YIWlUy2-3oPs07XEXssLliSwhly/s1600/IMG_0045.JPGhttps://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfaqs_lZVD9OiBwQV6_gUkgvGHjprj9K2p4tTAQ2hnwi4yQ2pcM0gQ2FqJeGDmdiSFF70_llhC2w4EczqZ17ODHpx4TdovL2YjGl57fg90f9j5BuOTf2q2Rajc7Znqi_1Ep5Is/s1600/IMG_0041.JPG
"Life is a competition. The winners are the ones who do the most good deeds."
You can also buy T-shirts, coffee mugs, tote bags, truckers' caps, baby gear and/or teddy bears with this logo printed on them. They make great gifts, especially for those of us who are still idealists in these troubled times. To purchase, just click here: http://www.cafepress.com/StillTWaters

Wednesday, December 25, 2013































The CIA gets it wrong -- again

     The CIA really screwed up back in 1961 when it plotted to murder Patrice Lumumba -- and just look at the mess it created in all of central Africa as a result, even today.  The CIA also blew it bigtime when it overthrew the democratically-elected president of Iran back in 1952 -- and Iran has pretty much been one of the CIA's biggest headaches ever since. 

     And of course there was also the CIA's famous Mandela fiasco -- wherein "The Company" supported apartheid in South Africa and schemed to have Mandela thrown in jail.  No wonder Raul Castro was so welcome at Mandela's funeral.  Cuba was a major anti-apartheid player, while the CIA once again stood on the wrong side of history, supported the Bad Guys and helped engineer the evils of bantustans, mass torture, dumpasses and the cold-blooded slaughter of school girls -- plus the CIA, like one other dynasty I could mention right now, also put out false propaganda that South Africa was awash with happy Blacks picking cotton.

    The CIA's next total blunder took place in Chile.  How many thousands and thousands were tortured and killed there for no reason as a result of CIA interference in a democratically-elected government there?  According to the Washington Post, the number was 32,197 -- but we may never know the real statistics for sure.  Let's list Chile as another political (and moral) failure for "The Agency".

     Don't even get me started on Vietnam.  Or Cambodia.  A land-war in Asia?  Never a good idea.

     And let's not forget the CIA's disgusting and ugly ongoing disaster in Central America, starting in 1954 when the CIA drew up a "disposal list" to systematically assassinate 58 of Guatemala's democratically-elected leaders in order to install the worst sort of dictators there http://www.latinamericanstudies.org/guatemala/list.htm.  This illegal and immoral strategy eventually cost American taxpayers untold billions of dollars -- yet another big "Fail" for the "Certified Incompetents of America".

      And even today, when farmers in Honduras, El Salvador and Guatemala go out to plow their fields, they are still finding silent graves filled with whitened bones planted there by CIA-backed Death Squads.  That whole decade of the 1980s was just one big blood bath after another in Guatemala, Honduras and El Salvador.  I shudder to even think about it.  So much shame is there.  And so much bad PR for America. 

    But let's not forget Iraq either, the CIA at its very lowest ebb.  False intel there.  A trillion dollars frittered away on creating corpses -- a million of them by some counts.  Wrong, wrong, wrong. 

    And the CIA-backed neo-cons in Israel have also been a big failure.  Those IDF blackshirts have turned out to be nothing more than Cossacks in sheep's clothing as they run their viscous pogroms through the Christian and Muslim shtetls of the West Bank and Gaza http://www.roitov.com/articles/mandela.htm

     Not to mention CIA failures in Afghanistan, Libya, Syria, Belfast, Beirut, Georgia, Cuba, Grenada and Dallas http://readersupportednews.org/opinion2/277-75/21159-focus-the-only-thing-we-have-to-fearis-the-cia.  You can always count on the CIA to back the wrong players and/or play the wrong game.  The whole Middle East is in flames today, thanks to the CIA.  Not to mention the alleged blow-back in 2001 at the World Trade Center -- or was that just another one of the CIA's failed war games too?  Either way, America also lost bigtime here due to the CIA.  http://www.theamericanconservative.com/articles/cias-colossal-flop/ 

     Thank goodness there was no CIA during the 1861 Civil War.  It would have supported the Confederacy of course -- and with the "Virginia Farm Boys" covering his back, General Lee would have lost even sooner than he did.  Or imagine if "The Agency" had been around during the 1776 Revolution!  With the kind of help that it has to offer, we'd still be saluting the Queen and sipping High Tea.  And the CIA would have just loved George Armstrong Custer.  "There are not enough Indians in the world to defeat the Seventh Cavalry."  Sounds like CIA spies wrote that report.

     "But Jane," you might ask, "if the CIA has had so many abominable black marks against it and such dismal failures on its books, how come 'The Company' hasn't gone bankrupt yet?"  That's a very good question.  If any other corporation in America had failed its customers this often, abysmally and immorally, one would think that it would have been forced to go bankrupt a long time ago.  Its publicly-traded stock would have been worthless and laughed at.  But not this "Company".  Apparently the CIA leads a very charmed life.

     I occasionally wish that I could do something like that too -- start a business and know for sure and always that no matter what wrong thing I would ever do with it, what ever bad business decision I would ever make or how often I would horribly screw up, I would still automatically make almost a hundred billion a year anyway.  Wouldn't that be cool -- to just sit back and receive corporate welfare like "The Agency" does, no matter how badly I blow it.  Those CIA people certainly do have it all going on.

     "But Jane," you might also ask, "the CIA is a government operation, not a corporation."  Yeah right.  You just keep telling yourself that.  The CIA never has to answer to We the People.  It answers only to the corporations that own it.  That's not "government".  Government, in a true democracy, must be of service to its people.  And how the freak have We ever been served by having America's reputation shredded to ribbons throughout the world?

PS:  In a recent article in the Berkeley Daily Planet, George Lakoff wrote about how neo-cons use the word "redistribution" in a very negative way, like it's a freaking crime to take from the rich and give to the poor.  http://www.berkeleydailyplanet.com/issue/2013-11-22/article/41654?headline=The-NY-Times-uncovers-conservative-attacks-then-prints-one-both-are-on-the-front-page--By-George-Lakoff

     But where in the freak do rich people actually think that they got all their "trickle down" money in the first place?  From poor working stiffs like you and me, of course.  Duh.  It's called "Trickle up".

     Hell, if it weren't for strikes and unions and grassroots political candidates like Alan Grayson and Elizabeth Warren, you and I would all be running around in loincloths and working 18-hour days right now so that the rich could get even richer.  So isn't it high time for us to "redistribute" some money back into our own pockets where it came from in the first place?  Yeah, duh.

PPS:  Spoiler alert -- unrelated topic: 

     WHY do so many neo-cons have their knickers all in a twist right now over the use of the word "Holiday"?  I don't get it.  Isn't the word "Holiday" an abbreviation of the phrase "Holy Day"?  So Fox News is now saying that Christmas isn't holy?  Huh?  http://www.truthdig.com/report/item/bill_oreillys_war_on_jesus_20131224

*************************************
*************************************

Advertizements for myself: In these hard times of brutal (and illegal) corporatist ball-busting socialism-for-the-rich-only, I am doing whatever I can to make a spare dollar. Here are some of my current alternate-economy schemes that never seem to work -- but I keep hoping!
******

If anyone ever wants to hire me on as a travel writer (or war correspondent), "Have laptop, will travel!"



******
 
Need someone to help you throw out stuff? I'm really good at deciding what needs to be thrown out (starting with all those corporate-owned bums in Washington!)

****

Need an actor to play an older woman in your movie?
Then I'm your man! I can portray all kinds of older women -- from judges, business execs and other insane zombies to bag ladies, cancer patients, kindly grandmothers and dying patients in rest homes. I've played them all. So send me a script and let's do this. Hollywood, here we come! Here's my reel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C91uEYjLUXA

****
Are you a plaintiffs' attorney who is tired of writing those pesky personal injury settlement briefs all the time? No problem! I can write them for you. Years of experience. And pay me only if you win the case.
****


I recently got my Notary Public commission!

Need a Notary Public? Have seal, will travel. E-mail me at jpstillwater@yahoo.com and I'll stamp your document, make it official and only charge $10. Of course if you live outside of Berkeley, I may have to charge travel expenses -- but am well worth it!

****
Want something good to read? Buy my book! "Bring Your Own Flak Jacket: Helpful Tips for Touring Today's Middle East," available at Amazon and Barnes & Noble. http://www.amazon.com/Bring-Your-Own-Flak-Jacket/dp/0978615719/ref=cm_pdp_rev_itm_title_1. It's like if Jack Kerouac, Mark Twain and/or Janet Evanovich went to war.

I also wrote a book about going on Hajj (also included as a chapter in "Bring Your Own Flak Jacket," but this book is cheaper -- but it's worth buying them both!) My book on the Hajj is so outstanding that I bet even Christian fundamentalists will love it! Please buy it here: http://www.amazon.com/Mecca-Hajj-Lessons-Islamic-School/dp/0978615700/ref=cm_rdp_product

****

"Imagine a world where EVERY child is wanted, nurtured, protected and loved: World peace in one generation!"
You can now buy T-shirts, coffee mugs, tote bags, truckers' caps, baby gear and/or teddy bears with this logo printed on them. They make great gifts, especially for parents and teachers. To purchase, just click here:http://www.cafepress.com/StillTWaters

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTiqVCTMaMEgkTRhPenqIefocM4Ov6OwXPD0Ys-DI8GblFCdA-sjGWzIc5F64b7vCMm0iwwL2AYkD2pi9xPT6tsd4Oqgr4O6tuO3QN3cyg0YIWlUy2-3oPs07XEXssLliSwhly/s1600/IMG_0045.JPGhttps://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfaqs_lZVD9OiBwQV6_gUkgvGHjprj9K2p4tTAQ2hnwi4yQ2pcM0gQ2FqJeGDmdiSFF70_llhC2w4EczqZ17ODHpx4TdovL2YjGl57fg90f9j5BuOTf2q2Rajc7Znqi_1Ep5Is/s1600/IMG_0041.JPG
"Life is a competition. The winners are the ones who do the most good deeds."
You can also buy T-shirts, coffee mugs, tote bags, truckers' caps, baby gear and/or teddy bears with this logo printed on them. They make great gifts, especially for those of us who are still idealists in these troubled times. To purchase, just click here: http://www.cafepress.com/StillTWaters

Thursday, December 19, 2013
















Who else is paying for their Endless War? The CA court system is

    Let's think about all those trillions of dollars that have been constantly pouring into war profiteers' pockets ever since they invented Vietnam.  All those trillions must have come from somewhere.  Of course we all know that some of them came from the Federal Reserve where they print Monopoly money like crazy.  And, ironically, some of them have also come from multiple humongous loans from China.  Plus some of that money also found its way into the pockets of War Street at approximately the same time that "all the gold in Fort Knox" mysteriously disappeared.  And a few trillion also seems to have just materialized out of thin air -- as if there was some ethereal war-profiteer fairy out there happily waving her magic wand.  But a lot of this destructive blood-money also came out of the pockets of us American taxpayers.  Trillions of dollars.  From you and me.

     All too many of us hard-working Americans have been forced to gird up our loins and go without so that war profiteers can afford to live like kings, buy multiple yachts, drink Veuve Clicquot champagne and smoke Cuban cigars.

     You and I have gone without jobs, schools, roads, police, fire departments, hospitals, etc. in order to pay handsomely for War Street's right to kill babies and Live Large. 

     And, apparently, we are also being forced to live without the high-quality court system that we here in California had grown accustomed to.  How do I know this?  Because the Berkeley-Albany Bar Association just told me so!

     At a recent luncheon meeting of BABA at the famed Berkeley City Club (designed by Julia Morgan herself) and over roast chicken, fruit salad and pie, a judge from the Alameda County Superior Court gave us a talk on the struggles that Alameda County is going through just to keep its court system working and its courthouse doors open these days.

     "One billion dollars was lost in the budget last year," the speaker told us.  "This is the toughest time financially in the history of this court.  We have never has to worry about money before -- but now we worry about money all of the time.  It is very difficult to juggle to keep all of our programs alive."  http://www.courthousenews.com/2013/03/12/55621.htm 

     "For instance, there have been 26 furlough days this year, where court employees didn't get paid.  Courthouses are closed.  We used to have 72 judges and nine commissioners.  Now there are 18 vacancies this year.  We went from 940 employees to 720 employees.  We need 104 more just to operate.  There used to be seven civil court locations.  Now there are only two.  Four family courts have been reduced to one family court.  Four probate locations have been reduced to one."  Heaven forbid that you should have to die and your ghost be forced to stand in line for hours at probate court. 

     "And if you get a traffic ticket anywhere in the county, you will have to drive all the way down to Fremont to contest it.  People stand in line for blocks at 5 am to get their tickets handled -- and may still have to come back.  And the only reason Alameda County is barely keeping its head above water right now is because we have so many employees who are dedicated to bringing access to justice for all.  Sacramento County, for instance, doesn't even have a civil filing office bull pen.  You just leave your unfiled summonses, pleadings and other documents in a drop-box.  Some counties have over 5000 unfiled documents right now."

     And where is the money from all those unpaid salaries going?  As far as I can tell, it is going into the pockets of tax-dodging corporate welfare queens and heartless and immoral war profiteers.  Christmas is coming up.  Would Jesus approve of all this random bloodshed and not-random greed?  Can you actually imagine Him saying, "I am Jesus and I approve this message."  No way!

     "Then there is the problem of criminal realignment.  30,000 prisoners have been released but next year there will be no money for their realignment -- so more petty thefts will occur.  This will be very interesting to see."  In other words, 30,00 prisoners will get out of jail with only bus fare and the clothes on their backs.

     And also court electronic data systems have suffered.  "In some smaller counties, the filing system consists of putting papers in a box.  And our county no longer has the personnel to support inter-court filing of documents either."  So you have to go to one specific court if you want to file a complaint or a probate document or a traffic ticket protest or an unlawful detainer. 

     And speaking of unlawful detainers (that's where people who don't pay their rent get invited to court by their landlord), the California court system has been flooded with them.  "There are so many banks with foreclosures.  These are our priority cases.  And 95% of them are getting settled because judges from other departments volunteer to help out and get these cases heard -- because where else are people being threatened with foreclosure evictions going to go if they lose their homes?"

PS:  At its next monthly luncheon meeting, BABA asked a federal judge to speak -- only he talked about an excess of money in America instead of a dearth of it, and how there have been whole tornadoes and hurricanes of money, flooding down on the USA like hailstorms ever since Citizens' United took effect.

    "And there is the additional problem of having individuals with unlimited personal bank accounts now running for office," said the judge.  "When all this money flows into the election system, only wealthy people are elected."  And why shouldn't rich people invest in buying elections?  For every dollar a huge corporation or war profiteer spends on buying an election, he gets a 5000% return in pork-barrel dollars sent his way. 

     "Swing states are already saturated with money on the presidential-campaign level," and so any more money being poured into those campaigns will have decreasing effectiveness.  "But large sums of money have an overwhelming effect on local elections.  But even though voters aren't stupid, even when being constantly  bombarded with expensive ads, fair elections are still impossible under the current system," said the judge as I happily ate roast beef, baby spinach and cheesecake.

     "We in America have a very narrow view of what constitutes corruption."  It's not corrupt to buy an election any more -- just as long as you use the new Supreme Court guidelines or have a friend at Diebold.  You can't just slip a poll-worker a fin any more.  That's corrupt.  You gotta be new-school about it.  http://readersupportednews.org/opinion2/277-75/20755-top-10-ways-the-us-is-the-most-corrupt-country-in-the-world 

      "Chief Justice Roberts stated that, 'The Supreme Court doesn't make the laws.  We just call balls and strikes'.  That is wrong."  Especially when the current Supreme Court continuously calls out "strike!" even after a batter has obviously hit a home run.  http://jpstillwater.blogspot.com/2010/01/2009-supreme-court-decisions-i-know.html

PPS:  "So, Jane.  What's your moral here?"  The moral here is that we need to protect the integrity of our court system at any cost -- even if it means that a few more war profiteers have to go without one of their yachts.  And also that I love all those Berkeley-Albany Bar Association luncheons.

*************************************
*************************************

Advertizements for myself: In these hard times of brutal (and illegal) corporatist ball-busting socialism-for-the-rich-only, I am doing whatever I can to make a spare dollar. Here are some of my current alternate-economy schemes that never seem to work -- but I keep hoping!
******

If anyone ever wants to hire me on as a travel writer (or war correspondent), "Have laptop, will travel!"




******
 
Need someone to help you throw out stuff? I'm really good at deciding what needs to be thrown out (starting with all those corporate-owned bums in Washington!)

****

Need an actor to play an older woman in your movie?
Then I'm your man! I can portray all kinds of older women -- from judges, business execs and other insane zombies to bag ladies, cancer patients, kindly grandmothers and dying patients in rest homes. I've played them all. So send me a script and let's do this. Hollywood, here we come! Here's my reel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C91uEYjLUXA

****
Are you a plaintiffs' attorney who is tired of writing those pesky personal injury settlement briefs all the time? No problem! I can write them for you. Years of experience. And pay me only if you win the case.
****


I recently got my Notary Public commission!

Need a Notary Public? Have seal, will travel. E-mail me at jpstillwater@yahoo.com and I'll stamp your document, make it official and only charge $10. Of course if you live outside of Berkeley, I may have to charge travel expenses -- but am well worth it!

****
Want something good to read? Buy my book! "Bring Your Own Flak Jacket: Helpful Tips for Touring Today's Middle East," available at Amazon and Barnes & Noble. http://www.amazon.com/Bring-Your-Own-Flak-Jacket/dp/0978615719/ref=cm_pdp_rev_itm_title_1. It's like if Jack Kerouac, Mark Twain and/or Janet Evanovich went to war.

I also wrote a book about going on Hajj (also included as a chapter in "Bring Your Own Flak Jacket," but this book is cheaper -- but it's worth buying them both!) My book on the Hajj is so outstanding that I bet even Christian fundamentalists will love it! Please buy it here: http://www.amazon.com/Mecca-Hajj-Lessons-Islamic-School/dp/0978615700/ref=cm_rdp_product

****

"Imagine a world where EVERY child is wanted, nurtured, protected and loved: World peace in one generation!"
You can now buy T-shirts, coffee mugs, tote bags, truckers' caps, baby gear and/or teddy bears with this logo printed on them. They make great gifts, especially for parents and teachers. To purchase, just click here:http://www.cafepress.com/StillTWaters

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTiqVCTMaMEgkTRhPenqIefocM4Ov6OwXPD0Ys-DI8GblFCdA-sjGWzIc5F64b7vCMm0iwwL2AYkD2pi9xPT6tsd4Oqgr4O6tuO3QN3cyg0YIWlUy2-3oPs07XEXssLliSwhly/s1600/IMG_0045.JPGhttps://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfaqs_lZVD9OiBwQV6_gUkgvGHjprj9K2p4tTAQ2hnwi4yQ2pcM0gQ2FqJeGDmdiSFF70_llhC2w4EczqZ17ODHpx4TdovL2YjGl57fg90f9j5BuOTf2q2Rajc7Znqi_1Ep5Is/s1600/IMG_0041.JPG
"Life is a competition. The winners are the ones who do the most good deeds."
You can also buy T-shirts, coffee mugs, tote bags, truckers' caps, baby gear and/or teddy bears with this logo printed on them. They make great gifts, especially for those of us who are still idealists in these troubled times. To purchase, just click here: http://www.cafepress.com/StillTWaters