Saturday, July 04, 2026

I'm now visiting Baku. "Where the hell is that?"

 


I'm now visiting Baku. "Where the hell is that?"

     As a relatively well-educated American, I find it sort of ironic that I had no idea in the world where Baku was before I got here.  Hell, I didn't even know where Azerbaijan was -- let alone how to spell it.  However, much to my surprise, Baku turns out to be the Paris of the Middle East -- or the San Francisco/Sydney/London of the Caucuses.  Lovely place.

     Baku has the nineteenth-century architectural charm of Belle Époque Paris combined with a touch of Soviet grandness and enough modern skyscrapers to make even New York City jealous -- and apparently Azerbaijan uses its enormous oil wealth to beautify Baku.  That works.  Dontcha wish that America used all its oil wealth to beautify, er, America too -- instead of just using it to maim and slaughter babies in Ukra$ne and West Asia?

      "I don't see very many homeless people here in Baku," I asked a local guy who had just sold me some amazingly yummy lamb kebabs.  "Do you even have any?"

      "We have a few beggars and some war refugees here but that's about it."  What?  No homeless shelters, tent cities and starving guys lying on sidewalks like in America?  Apparently not.  But America just gave Azerbaijan eight billion dollars if it promised to help bomb Palestine and Iran so the chances of Baku starting to have homeless people are pretty good too.

PS:  In these modern times, being an oil-rich country definitely can (and will) come back to bite you in the butt.  All that Black Gold might make you rich -- but more than likely it will have you merely circling the wagons like in that movie Mad Max.  Just look what happened to Libya, Syria, Iraq, Iran, Bahrain, UAE, the Saudis, etc.  And Azerbaijan is no exception to the rule.

       Before World War I, Russian czars exploited Baku's oil.  Then, for one magic moment, the Treaty of Versailles granted Azerbaijan its democratic freedom under President Mehemmed Resulzade, Azerbaijan's very own George Washington.  But freedom was never to be.  Lenin soon stepped in to seize Baku's oil.

     Things didn't get much better here during World War II either.  Hitler actually ordered his birthday cake to be frosted with a map of Baku's oil fields on top and then he gleefully chopped up his cake with a butcher knife.  But Stalin had other plans for Azerbaijan -- and its oil helped the Allies win World War II.

      What will happen next for poor sweet Baku?  Will oil turn out to be its blessing -- or its curse?

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