Thursday, April 30, 2020


     Of course we need food for the body, but we also need food for the soul.  If we can safely open supermarkets, gas stations and hardware stores, surely we're smart enough to figure out how to safely open our libraries too -- so let's get this done.  "Free our libraries!"

      And this just in:

     Holy cow!  Here's news we can use!  The World Health Organization itself has just lauded "lockdown-ignoring Sweden as a ‘model’ for countries going forward." 

     And not only that -- but when Germany eased up its lock-down recently too, COVID cases actually decreased.  "The latest official data in Germany shows that new cases of confirmed infections dropped below 1,000 yesterday for the first time in almost seven weeks, suggesting the easing of the lockdown has had no impact."


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Tuesday, April 28, 2020

COVID-19[84]: I'm putting mainstream media on lock-down

     If I have to listen to yet one more vacuous talking head blithely telling me that "we're all in this together" one more freaking time, I'm gonna just go run screaming through the streets -- with or without a face mask.

     All in this together?  No.  We're not.  It's just you and me under quarantine.

     Yesterday someone sent me a link to a video of two ER doctors (Erickson and Massihi) telling us that being in lock-up is one of the worse things we can do to protect ourselves from COVID -- and is especially bad for our children.  "The longer that we stay in lock-down, the weaker our immune systems get, the more susceptible we get as a result and the more of us will die," was their basic message.

     The video received five million hits -- over 200,000 in just one hour.  YouTube immediately took it down.  Google labeled it "misinformation".

     We are also learning that hospitals get $34,000 more per corpse if said corpse dies of COVID and not just from the flu or cancer or something more mundane.   So almost no one gets diagnosed with the flu any more.  Suddenly the annual flu season has been magically eradicated completely.  "It's a miracle!"  No.  It's not.

     But here is the bottom line regarding the current media feeding-frenzy on COVID:  One year from now either a bunch of people will have died from the virus -- or else they will all be just fine and we will have been played once again (remember Iraq, Vietnam and Libya?)  This part is uncertain.  It could go either way.

     But what is certain for sure is that one year from now our economy will still be in ruins, American oligarchs will be even more super-rich, Big Pharma and the Federal Reserve will own even more of America than they do now, Amazon will have replaced far too many small businesses, our children will be dumber and we will be living in a surveillance state that will make George Orwell seem like some kind of all-seeing prophet.  

     According to financial expert Ernst Wolff, our economy is currently under a controlled demolition.  "There are some big players behind this financial scheme but no one is following the money."  Yikes!

       So.  A year from now, will we be happily looking back and deciding that all this lock-up and lock-down has been worth it?  Definitely not.

      And, even worse, I won't be able to spend Mothers Day at a Giants game or in Las Vegas this year.  Hell, I'll be lucky to get take-out from KFC!

     And we will have also regressed from being forced to constantly listen to media propaganda about COVID to being forced to constantly once again listen to media propaganda about "eminent dangers" from Syria and Iran -- and how only stealing their oil will make us safe again.  "We're all in this together" they'll tell us once again.  No.  We're not.

PS:  In the last two months, I've been (on essential business) to a book convention in San Diego, visited two asylum-seekers' shelters in Tijuana, spent a night at the historic Palace Hotel in San Francisco (with dinner in Chinatown, BTW), walked all over New York City and walked all over downtown Los Angeles -- including eating yummy tacos at Juanita's on Olvera Street and staying at the legendary Biltmore Hotel.

      And I don't even have so much as a cough.

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Saturday, April 25, 2020

Prime suspect: Who replaced our small businesses during the lock-up?

     "I need a new dress for our virtual prom," cries your teenager -- but the local shopping mall has been completely closed down.  It's been locked down for as long as we have been in lock-up.  What to do?  Order a prom dress from Amazon!

     And suddenly all of America's shopping is being done online.

      And we've all seen photos of those dangerous Amazon sweatshop warehouses, right?  But it's the wave of the future.  Amazon Prime.  Small businesses go under.  Big businesses thrive.

     How come Amazon is an essential business yet yours is not?

PS:  And how come the United States Postal Service is suddenly going bankrupt yet Amazon isn't?  In a word?  "Unions."

PPS:  Have you ever considered workers' cooperatives as an alternative to Corporatism?

PPPS:  When I was crossing through the border station last month while coming back from Tijuana, at least a hundred "guest workers" suddenly walked past me while I waited in line.  Each man was pulling a small roller-board suitcase.  They were all quickly loaded onto buses headed for Los Angeles.

     How come "guest workers" are legal in America and yet other Latinx are not?  When large corporations are in need of cheap labor, regular rules simply do not apply to them.  It's time that we change all that -- or we'll be in lock-up forever too.

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Thursday, April 23, 2020

Sex, lies & geeks: COVID's new war on statisticians

    Sex?  "There will now be no reason for abortions," a friend of mine just said, "because there will no longer be any pregnancies -- because everyone will be standing six feet apart!"  HaHaHa.

    Lies?  That we can catch COVID-19 from toilet seats?  There are so many lies going around about COVID-19 -- but the bottom line that we all need to understand is that this pandemic lock-down isn't about germs.  It's about property. 

     To quote James Buchanan, that Nobel laureate godfather of all neo-cons himself, “Each person seeks mastery over a world of slaves.”  Basically, Buchanan wanted to juice up a New World Order that would always value property over people and that would make rich people large and in charge. 

     And then suddenly the COVID pandemic train arrived at the station and every single one of our Dark Overlords happily clamored aboard.  "More for us, less for you!" they cried as they gleefully headed toward the dining car.  And then under the cleaver disguise of saving our lives, our government constantly reassured us that all the $$$$$ they just gave to Big Oil was not a bailout but rather a "government-issued rescue".   Yeah right.  Then why isn't our government "rescuing" small businesses as well?

      But I digress.  Let's get back to telling each other lies.  No, that new app on your phone that will let the powers-that-be know where you are every second of your lives is not gonna flatten the curve -- it's going to extend it.  Probably for years.

     This is where the statisticians and geeks come in.  They try really hard to tell us that, yes, COVID-19 is not as deadly as we are being told and, yes, there really is something called herd immunity and, yes, if we all get infected, this whole nightmare will be over within a month instead of within years -- and, yes, if we protect our most vulnerable than the death rate will actually go down.

     According to one geek I know, even New York City is not all that bad off:  = 0.014 = 1.4%.  10,000 Deaths = 0.0013 = 0.13% = 130/100,000.  130 out of every 100,000 New York City residents have died of COVID.  That's hardly even worse than the flu.

     But nobody ever listens to or believes statisticians and geeks.  Boring!  So much more exciting to watch horror stories of COVID on the news every night.

      But in some dark cemetery somewhere, James Buchanan is now having the last laugh -- on us.  "I told them that property was more important than people -- and neo-cons everywhere believed me!" gloats his scary ghost.  "From Iraq and Syria and Palestine to Main Street USA, we've now got it all!"  Oh just shut up, Jimmy, and just go back to being dead.

     But in a way Buchanan is right.  In 2008, they came for our homes.  In 2020 they came for our small businesses.  What are they going to come for next?  Our freaking toaster-ovens, overcoats and toothbrushes?

      What to do?  Let's end all this "socialism for the wealthy only" and demand that we all share in the world's wealth equally -- every single one of us.   Our leaders definitely do not care about protecting the vulnerable.  They are far more interested in re-opening their salons and spas.  But we need to care.  "The least of us...."  Sound familiar?

PS:  Speaking of ghosts, I'm going to go to Los Angeles in a few days and stay at the legendary Biltmore Hotel.  Am hoping to run into the ghost of Katherine Hepburn or JFK's ghost -- but will even settle for the ghost of Al Capone.


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Sunday, April 19, 2020

Phony wars, COVID, NYC & economic collapse: They're all connected -- but how?

     Dazed and confused -- that's me.  So much going on right now.  Our material world has just collapsed.  COVID-19 has us more terrified than even those grim nuclear standoffs with the USSR during my childhood.  We have not only one but two clueless idiots running for president and it truly doesn't matter which one wins because the Dark Overlords are clearly in charge -- even though none of us even know who the Dark Overlords even are.  And I've even run out of spinach.  What would Popeye do?

     What would Popeye do?  Hell, I don't even know what I myself should do.  Go to Mexico and lie on a beach?  All the beaches in Puerto Vallarta are closed.  Fly to Las Vegas and bury my head in the sand around Caesar's Palace?  Can't even do that.  Can't even go for a nice walk in the woods because all the state parks are closed.  What would Captain America do?

     Online, even my Besties hate me because I support justice and diplomacy instead of brutal military attacks on Palestine, Iran, Yemen and Syria in this sad time of COVID.  Because I think that the lock-down is just one more confidence game to steal our money.  Because I sort of stopped believing what I was told way back when JFK was murdered "by a single gunman" with unbelievable sniper skills.  What would George Washington do?

     I just got back from New York City where I myself witnessed hospital ER waiting rooms that were empty, ambulances all sitting in line while their drivers looked terribly bored while waiting for the next call that wasn't coming.  I saw huge tent cities put up in Central Park and temporary hospitals set up at the Javits Center -- all of them mostly empty.  From Harlem to the Bowery, I walked the streets daily -- and then came back home healthy.  What would Governor Cuomo or President Trump do about that?

     I stood in front of Bellevue Hospital, the exact epicenter of the entire planet's COVID-19 pandemic, and didn't even develop a cough.  What would Grey's Anatomy say about this?  "But Jane, all that's just anecdotal...."

      I just received my $1200 "stimulus package" and now have more money in my bank account than I have had in the past two decades.  And they are also offering me unemployment insurance too.  And yet I just walked past miles and miles and miles of closed up and shuttered small businesses in NYC that will never re-open again.  Ever.  The Federal Reserve would have to print out almost a quadrillion dollars in fake money to cover all these tragic loses all across the United States -- but that cagey Fed is clearly kissing the booties of New World Order oligarchs instead.  What would Alexander Hamilton do?

     In Harlem, I saw a food truck pull up to sell CDB brownies in front of the Harlem Whole Foods.  In front of a hospital on First Avenue, I saw about 30 men and women in blue scrubs chatting casually as they lined up in front of a food truck that was giving out free designer lattes.  Central Park was crowded with joggers.  The poor and the homeless were still (involuntarily) enjoying the sunshine on 34th Street and in Times Square.  Holly Golightly was still having Breakfast at Tiffany's.  The Trump Tower was still open for business.  New Yorkers were copping with all this craziness.  But what would Superman do?

      I know in my gut that all these phony wars, the COVID epidemic and our economic collapse are all connected somehow -- but how?  Who the freak are these mysterious Dark Overlords who have the President of the United States, the Pentagon and the Federal Reserve as their puppets?  And all the rest of us too? 

      But I'm no Marvel superhero or historic icon of democracy or even an anti-hero from Saturday morning cartoons.  So what exactly should I myself do to save the world? 


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Thursday, April 16, 2020

Madam Jane Predicts: The exact date that our lock-down will end

    Someone just banged on my front door.  "Go away.  I'm sheltering in place!" I yelled -- but Madam Jane wasn't buying it.  Not at all. 

     "I can see the future," she yelled back.  "I see that you are safe from COVID-19.  You're good.  Now open the damn door."  What else could I do?  Madam Jane is scary, far more scary than just a mere virus.  I opened the door.

     "Let's get right to the point," said M.J.  "I have just predicted the very exact date when all this COVID-19 lock-down will finally end."  Now she had my total attention.  "You realize of course that the Federal Reserve has been giving away one trillion dollars a day to Big Business in the last few weeks, right?  And also giving Big Business billions of dollars a day for months before that?"  No, I hadn't heard.

     "And yet the Fed's payments to small businesses have totally run out after only 13 days.  Something is fishy here -- and I'm about to tell you what."  So much for my nice leisurely morning of sheltering in place.

     "Large corporations have taken over our American democracy.  You don't need a crystal ball to see that."  Yeah, sure, what else is new -- but what does this have to do with the date we get to end the lock-down?  "Before I tell you my prediction, first you gotta understand that there is only so far that Big Business can go before it kills the goose that lays its golden eggs.  And that would be us."  

      Yeah yeah yeah, I'm also aware that we've been goosed by the military-industrial complex for decades now.  Get on with predicting the date.

     "That's easy," replied Madam Jane.  "When almost all competition from America's small businesses has been taken out of commission by the lock-down and Big Box stores reign supreme?  When most of us are bankrupt, desperate and so unemployed that we'll eagerly slave away 12 hours a day for peanuts -- but are not quite yet zombies?  When the Fed finally calculates that the Golden Goose is now on life support and there is not even one drop of money to be squeezed out of us?  That will be the exact date when the lock-down will end."

     "Then we should just forget about flattening the curve?" I asked incredulously.  "Just forget about a vaccine?  A cure?  All those freaking ventilators?  Social distancing?  That this virus might be a truly deadly disease for people with serious preexisting conditions?  None of that will factor in?  Not even at all?"

     "Yep.  That's the plan.  It's all about tweaking up the New World Order -- at our expense.  And it has been that way from the start of this pandemic.  Get us all afraid, broadcast the danger on TV night and day, keep us all isolated?  Distract us and then rob us blind."

      Okay.  I'll shut up now.  Why?  Because nobody in their right mind ever argues with Madam Jane, especially not me.  But still....  She actually just might be right. 

Stop Wall Street and War Street (and Big Pharma) from destroying our world.   And while you're at it, please buy my books.

Friday, April 10, 2020

COVID-19: Killer plague or not? Either way we're screwed

     Here in America, we all die eventually.  That's what we do.  And we've been doing this steadily since 1776.  We don't "pass away".  We don't "cross over".  We die.  It's called the freaking circle of life, Simba.

      But just exactly how deadly is COVID-19?  Actually?  We may never know -- for two reasons.  

      First, doctors are currently being instructed to attribute almost every new death in America to COVID.   A lot of people die in America -- every single day.  "But let's blame it all on COVID anyway!"  Done.

     Second, the tests for COVID-19 are flawed up the ying-yang.  That tiger in the Bronx Zoo probably doesn't have COVID after all.

     But suppose, let's just suppose, that COVID-19 actually is the most deadly disease pandemic in history ev-ah, worse than smallpox, polio and the Black Plague combined.  Then what?  Those of us who actually do survive all this nightmare are still gonna be screwed.

     Our economy is now in Schitt's Creek.

     Our government has gone all 1984 on us.

     We are going to be helpless as babes in the woods when our usual river of goods and services suddenly runs dry. 

     Who the freak knows how to manufacture toilet paper -- let alone how to grow a potato or stop a tank?  Or prevent ourselves from being herded like cattle into some B-movie version of Brave New World or The Time Machine.

     But all this is irrelevant, definitely not the most important thing about COVID-19[84].  "So what is the most important thing about it?" you might ask.  It definitely isn't whether or not we are going to die from a germ or live in a tanked economy -- but rather what we are going to do with the ashes of our society after it's all been burned down.

     All this random destruction of everything we now know is also offering us a unique chance as well -- a chance to form a new society based on kindness instead of on greed, anxiety, narcissism, propaganda, secrecy, fraud, fear and "war".  The future after COVID-19[84] is not about whether or not we die from it.  Everyone eventually dies.  It's all about how we will live -- after this mess is finally over. 

     And that if we want to build a new, better and viable society out of the ashes of our current dysfunctional oligarchy, then "Do unto others as you would have others do unto you" is always a good start.  

     And if our leaders don't follow our lead on this one, then screw them too!  We can always put them in lock-down instead of us.

Stop Wall Street and War Street (and Big Pharma) from destroying our world.   And while you're at it, please buy my books.

Sunday, April 05, 2020

Make your own COVID face mask out of a one-gallon water jar.

     All you need are scissors and cellophane tape -- and viola!  You are STYLIN' this pandemic!  And then there's always the more simple freezer-bag approach.  Total chic!


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Friday, April 03, 2020

COVID: Invasion of the Wealth-Snatchers

   Hold on to your piggy banks, guys!  Financial vampires are coming to steal them as well.

     First they came for our nest eggs.  Then they came for our home equity.  Now they are coming for that spare change on top of our dressers.

     Be very afraid.

     First they told us to be afraid of terrorists.  Then they told us to be afraid of immigrants.  Now they are telling us to be afraid of germs?  But no one told us to be afraid of the deadly Wealth-Snatchers.  As Washington privatized pandemic preparation, the national security state left Americans defenseless against coronavirus

     And while our attention is riveted on COVID, they are stealing our wealth from behind our backs -- even down to that last penny jar in the closet.

     We are at the tail end of the greatest wealth transfer in history right now -- and none of that wealth is coming our way.

     Sorry about that.

     But at least we can yell "F*ck you!" to the burglars on their way out the door with our wallets.

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