Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Ariel Sharon the Hypocrite: What will he do when 5,337,185 Palestinians convert?

It was a beautiful spring day in the Gaza strip but all the Palestinians there were sick and tired of being on house arrest. "I have an idea," said Ahmed. "Let's convert to Judaism and then they will HAVE to give us our property back." It was a fabulous idea and it caught on like wildfire. Why not? Muslims revered Abraham so Mohammed would be proud of them for honoring his memory. Moses? The Torah? Muslims were People of the Book already. It was all good.

So. Suddenly Israel found itself with 5,337,185 new Jews. This should have made Ariel Sharon happy because up until then the poor guy had been forced to scour the world looking for Jews to move into his new West Bank condominiums. He even paid some Peruvians from the upper Amazon jungle to convert and move to the Promised Land. This should have been his dream come true.

What a hypocrite.

It turned out that Sharon was in the real estate racket because of the power and money it gave him -- not because he cared about Jews. And even though Israel and Palestine were now united religiously, the Apartheid Wall still stood. The checkpoints still stood. And the army still killed teenagers -- only now they were Jewish teenagers.

Oy vey!

"But how can you harass your fellow Jews?" Ahmed asked Sharon.

"Simple," replied Ariel. "I want Jews who blindly obey me. I'm looking for Jews that will kiss I'm not looking for Jews seeking justice. There is no place on MY land for those kind of Jews." His land? I thought that land belonged to....

PS: Whenever I criticize Ariel Sharon, some guy always phones me at 2:00 am shortly thereafter and calls me the female-dog word -- like THAT'S going to make me more fond of Ariel? Yeah right.