Why do Americans just LOVE getting sucker-punched by George Bush?

By Jane Stillwater

Recently I went on a tour bus with a bunch of senior citizens. This trip was a pivotal point in my political education! All I did was mention...that I thought George Bush had stolen the 2000 election and...Holy cow! Sixteen irate little old ladies immediately attacked me with umbrellas! Were it not for my daughter Ashley's quick thinking, I would not even be here to tell the tale.

Americans just seem to LOVE getting sucker-punched by George Bush. Cite unemployment statistics to them? Line up facts about Bush's close alliances with, say, the bin Ladin family or Enron? THEY ARE NOT INTERESTED!

I double-dog dare you to drive across Texas with a bumper sticker that says "Bush lied, our soldiers died." At the very least, you would get your tires slashed.

Walk into almost any church in America and casually mention that perhaps Christ actually believed all that nonsense about "Thou shalt not kill" and/or that Bush might be exhibiting a tad too much blood-lust to be a good Christian and Boy howdy. You will be in Deep Dog Dookie.

Just go to any unemployment office in the nation and attempt to tell the poor jobless souls there that Bush's outsourcing policies have cost American workers over three million jobs in the last three years. Not a good idea!

Or try telling your Great Uncle Henry that Bush might have blown it on 9-11 by not scrambling our air defenses until over TWO HOURS after the first jet was hijacked. Your Great Uncle Henry will not only stop speaking to you forever, HE WILL WRITE YOU OUT OF HIS WILL!

Or go to a PTA meeting in California's central valley and mention that educational funding has been cut so drastically that EVERY child has been left behind. You'll be sitting in the corner with a dunce cap on before you can even recite the Pledge of Allegiance!

Or check out one of those spit-shined, buzz-cut American military men who fought the Vietnam war from an armchair in front of his TV set. With this guy, if you so much as even HINT that idealistic young American soldiers are dying in Iraq because Bush told 237 documented lies, John Wayne, Jr. here will pull out his1967 Army-issue side arm and shoot you. "You don't like it here then go move to Cuba you unpatriotic bitch!" he will crow over your bleeding corpse.

Just try explaining to Captain America here that all you were trying to do was protect our valiant enlisted men and women from Bush's motley crew of con-artists, hustlers and pimps. Nope. Forget it. Bush is God.

Why is it that whenever I point out to people that Bush does NOT have America's interests at heart, they look at me like I'm some nasty little bug? "America is NOT a superpower," I tell them. "The only superpower in the world today is George Bush. True Americans like you and me are just being used -- systematically hooked and gutted like trout on a fish farm. Do you think that Bush controls our freedom, our education, our jobs, our personal life and our oil because he LIKES us?" Then, after finishing this cute little speech, I run like hell.

Try telling Americans that corporations are not persons -- and even if they were, they need to stop playing Lex Luther and act morally like everybody else. Go ahead. Just tell that to your average dot-commer whose job is now in New Delhi. You will NEVER get asked to the prom.

Why do Americans just LOVE getting sucker-punched by George Bush? George Bush just keeps hitting us again and again -- right where we live: In our homes, in our hearts and in our pocketbooks. Yet Americans still keep passionately lining up to get hit again. Over and over and over again -- like so many bowling pins.

If anyone can figure out this phenomenon, PLEASE let me know! Americans need to stop playing Queen of Denial. It's time for us all to stop letting Bush and his billionaire friends destroy the country we love.