Friday, April 28, 2006

American Inventor: Inventing yet another way to save our country from GWB

A friend just sent me an interesting article about how Congress has sold out the American taxpayer. AGAIN. "The House Energy and Commerce Committee just voted against a proposal to protect internet users from being exploited by companies like AT&T. Network neutrality is now on the chopping block and the internet is now up for grabs."

Congress is about to hand OUR internet over to its usual chorus line of corporate welfare queens? The word "Judas" comes to mind.

We gotta get rid of GWB and his vampire friends. They are sucking us Americans dry. Because of Bush's antics in Washington, we are now facing economic disaster, the end of our democracy and nuclear winter. Not good.

So. Last week I was watching "American Inventor" on TV and thinking that instead of inventing such small-time items as portable gym equipment or cute little flower arrangements, someone needs to invent A WAY TO GET RID OF GEORGE BUSH. And all his corporate welfare leeches too. Before it's too late.

In the grand tradition of Yankee ingenuity, we need to invent a whole bunch of new ways to legally and non-violently get rid of those jerks in the White House before they bankrupt America and blow up the world -- or, better yet, let's invent ways to bypass Bush and his evil corporate-welfare cronies altogether and JUST SAVE OURSELVES!

If you are unhappy about losing your job, having your kids go to inferior schools and getting your foot shot off in Iraq for no reason, we GOTTA think of a way to change the course of our future. We gotta start thinking outside the box.

Then I read Mike Whitney's eye-opening article on American finances. "America is now facing a slow-motion meltdown that could escalate into a widespread run on the dollar," Whitney said. "Attacking Iran will only aggravate the situation and push tenuous states towards new alliances." A whole bunch of other nations are gonna form alliances against US? That's bad. I don't want Europe, Russia, China, Latin America, Africa and Japan allied against ME just because of George Bush. "Expect the greenback to follow a long-downward spiral."

Then it hit me. We need to invent a way to save ourselves that involves money -- because money is at the heart of what is happening in the world today. Follow me closely here. It's complex and I'm not even sure that I myself understand this. A dollar bill itself is worthless. It is merely a symbol of other wealth. And since Bush has hijacked the dollar, it no longer represents -- to you and me -- a symbol of OUR wealth. It only represents the symbol of the Bush bureaucracy's wealth. THE DOLLAR NO LONGER REPRESENTS AMERICA.

The Bush bureaucracy has stolen our dollars and turned them into some neo-con Monopoly money that has nothing to do with us. We just use dollars and spend dollars and save dollars out of habit. But the dollar per se no longer belongs to us. The dollar per se no longer exists!

So. Let's just forget about the dollar. It is meaningless, not worth the paper it is printed on. It has simply become George Bush's plaything. And, since the "dollar' no longer represents the hopes, dreams and ideals of America, let's switch to something else. So. What else can we switch to? I know! What if we started using euros?

We have handed our American dollars over to a man who has as much right to them as Tony Soprano or Al Capone. And -- considering the Bush bureaucracy's fabulous capability to hide, steal and down-grade American dollars -- sooner than we want to think about they are going to be worthless to us completely. So. Let's get a jump on the future and start fresh with euros!

"But, Jane, how would you go about doing that?"

It's easy. Just go to your local financial planning specialist or bank and say, "I want to buy some euros, please." And boom shake the room, it's done. And don't get certificates that SAY you own euros. Get the actual euros themselves. And use them to buy and sell. We could even develop an underground trading network based on euros.

If we can't get Bush out of our White House, at least we can get him out of our pocketbooks!

Why should we continue to pretend that American dollars are a big deal when we all know that the Bush family house of horrors has hijacked OUR currency and turned it into the U.S. dollar's evil clone? We need to stop thinking about misplaced patriotism, save OURSELVES and get out while we can! And asking the Bush gang to solve this problem for us is absurd. That's like asking someone who just committed identity theft on you to handle your money because they can already access your accounts.

As Mike Whitney says, "The problems facing the dollar are purely systemic. The privately owned central banks in the Federal Reserve cannot be trusted to decide monetary policy any more than the oil giants can be trusted to decide foreign policy. When the public interest is excluded from policy-making, catastrophe is inevitable." We the public HAVE been excluded by Bush. So let's exclude him.

Great idea. Yep. I just invented it all by myself.

What Americans need to understand is this: In a country where Bush bureaucrats are making war on "We, the People" daily, we owe no allegiance to them. We pledged allegiance to our citizens and our country, not to a team of carpetbaggers. And we must do whatever we possibly can to protect our country from disintegration -- even if it means choosing Europe as our ally instead of Cheney and Bush.

However, don't limit yourself to just buying euros. Befriend the rest of the world too.

According to Chris Gaffney at, Canadian and Asian currency is also rising in value in comparison with the dollar. You could also buy Japanese yen, Singapore dollars or Thai bahts. Or while you're in Montreal buying your prescription drugs, just stock up on Canadian dollars too.

PS: "Why euros and not gold?" asked my friend Paul. That's a no-brainer: Because hordes of speculators have already driven the price of gold through the roof. "Goldbugs" figured out early on that Bush is systematically looting the U.S. economy and they acted accordingly. Thus, unless you already own Scrooge McDuck's money bin, the gold market pretty much out of your league. But we GOTTA do something to protect our families. Euros will just have to do.

PPS: And even though the U.S. dollar has fallen approximately 30% in relation to other currencies recently, the Federal Reserve seems to be churning out even MORE dollars. Dollars are flooding the market. In the last month alone, according to Richard Daughty, 125 billion dollars have magically appeared "as savings and 'other deposits'" in American banks. How can the Federal Reserve do that? Have they invented a new way to turn lead into gold? Or have they merely invented a new way to launder all those billions of dollars in drug money that are pouring in from Afghanistan?

You gotta admit, that's inventive.