Nanny 9/11: Potty-training America to not ask questions about the WTC

Yesterday I was trying to throw out most of the useless memorabilia that clutters up my house, using my famous sure-fire fail-safe penny-tossing junk-elimination method (You flip a coin over each item. Lands on heads? Toss it. Lands on tails? Keep it. You can exchange stuff between the two piles but only items of equal size) when I came across an old issue of the Oakland Tribune published on September 12, 2001. It had the following photo on the front page:

http://bousculade.free.fr/img/index/world-trade-center-pictures-3.jpg

As I looked at this photo, it became instantly obvious even to me that the freaking plane had hit the South Tower only at the very top of the building. Wha? I stared at the photo. It was hard to believe that disabling just the top twenty-odd stories had caused the WHOLE building to come down.

What in the world would have caused a whole 110-floor building to collapse? Could it have been the weight of the plane? Maybe. But experts have authoritatively stated again and again that it was the HEAT melting the girders that brought the building down. Heat? Girders? On the top floors? Somebody please explain this to me?

From what I can see, except for the top floors, the South Tower was basically untouched. I can understand why the other tower collapsed but why this one? So I Googled.

The South Tower was hit at 9:03 am. It crashed at 10:05 am. The North Tower, however, was hit 18 minutes earlier -- and at a more vulnerable location -- but didn't crash until 10:28.

According to the University of Sydney Department of Engineering, "While the ways the two towers fell were slightly different, the basic cause is similar for both -- a large number of columns were destroyed on impact and the remaining structure was gradually weakened by the heat of the fire. Not much significance should be taken from the fact that one tower fell in 45 minutes and the other in 90 minutes."

Still not happy, I consulted my internet friends about what they think happened. "I saw a four-hour National Geographic Channel documentary on 9/11 recently," said Jim. "One possible explanation for the collapse is that it reported that fuel went down the elevator shaft and caused explosions, perhaps as many as three further down. This may have weakened structures below so the pancaking effect could be a problem." Oh. Okay.

Then Greg told me, "If fire weakened the steel at that point it would cause the floors above to collapse. The inertia of the floors falling would cause each floor below to fall from the top down. I was watching it on TV and that's what it looked like to me."

What Joe Thompson said made sense. "Jane, structures do strange things when compromised. But I would be interested in photos taken at the base of the building just as it collapsed. All I have seen so far is the domino effect that the planes hitting the buildings seem to have created. An impact like what we saw can very well do what we all witnessed. Until I see more visual proof, the planes hitting the towers caused them to collapse."

Frank agreed with the University of Sydney. "The Twin Towers construction was not of the traditional "I" beam construction like, say, the Empire State building. There was no internal vertical and horizontal girder construction in the new concept of the Twin Towers. The rigid strength was in the outside walls only. Each floor was held in place by the outside walls. There was no other additional support."

Les sent me his answer in all capital letters. "THE BEAMS WERE SPRAY-COATED WITH FIRE RESISTANT MATERIALS; THE SHOCK OF THE EXPLOSION WEAKENED THEM. THE BUILD-UP OF HEAT AT THE UPPER LEVELS CAUSED THE UPPER SUPPORTS TO GIVE WITH EACH FLOOR, ADDING ITS WEIGHT TO THE LOWER CLIPS. THE WEIGHT OF THE FLOORS BECAME UNSUSTAINABLE AND THE ENTIRE STRUCTURE PANCAKED. THAT'S THE EASIEST WAY TO EXPLAIN IT."

Rich had this to say: "The WTC towers were only supported at the outside walls. There were no supports anywhere else to save room. The very design doomed the towers."

Here's a reply from Puma Claw, who seemed to be conflicted about how the towers came down: "You're right, they can't collapse unless there were bombs planted somewhere near the bottom. As for the heat melting STEEL girders, excuse me but heat was only above the flames and not below them (Physics 101, light a candle, run your finger through the flame, it's cool, hold your finger above the flame, it's hot). Besides, jet fuel doesn't burn all that hot anyway or it would damage the engines in the aircraft. Heck, I was an electro-mechanical engineer in the US Army and know my way around a turbine engine, fercryinoutloud.

"Incidentally, a similar highrise caught on fire in Caracas last year and it certainly didn't implode. I might also point out that when the WTC was built, it was guaranteed that it would withstand the impact of an airplane."

Jan, however, had questions like mine. "The only way the towers could have been brought down, is by demolition. The towers did not come down by plane attacks alone. See project we've been working on at http://www.youcanhandlethetruth.org/"

And Juli said, "Shortly after 9/11, on the contractor sites and architect-engineering trades sites, the guys were all talking about the cover-up. Most of us were Govcon Subs and the Primes were even talking about the 'stench'."

And Puma Claw added, "Cascading effect? No way. There's no way they'd be allowed to erect a building flimsy enough that when a top floor caves in it winds up with a domino effect like that. Besides, if a melt-down of the girders had occurred, the towers would have fallen over to the side and not collapsed within themselves. After all, unless all four experience the same blast of heat, there's no way the whole thing would come down as evenly as those towers. That's why taking down skyscrapers -- so they implode and don't fall over to the side and on top of other buildings -- requires expert technique."

John also had something to say about the cascading effect. "In order to get pancaking, whereby the floors demolish floors below, a single floor must be destroyed SYMMETRICALLY...and no floor was struck or agitated symmetrically.....Isaac Newton still prevails......for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction." Then he added some other interesting information. "As the [WTC] buildings were not upgradeable to fiber optics -- and that needed to be done -- the insurance money was a good bet...."

And Jude added that if there WAS some kind of hanky-panky, then "TREASON charges need to be made like yesterday. Time to move toward that end -- not arguing about it any longer." Bush in jail? Works for me.

Michael had another outlook on the 9/11 massacre. "I take it that you are going by the theory that our government may have secretly taken down the towers after the attacks? I am not a believer. They really didn't need to. The attacks themselves were enough to propel their real agenda."

So. On that fateful day, what really DID happen? And why doesn't anybody KNOW for sure? And how can we conclusively find this stuff out? The Bush Republicans are not a good source of information because they have lied to us so often on the WMD thing -- and about the circumstances surrounding the destruction of Building 7 -- that we no longer trust ANYTHING they say. And much of the hard evidence has magically disappeared off to Japan.

But I have learned one important thing from all this questioning: That not all American minds have been successfully potty-trained by the various fairy tales we are being constantly spoon-fed. People all across America are STILL searching for answers to some very compelling questions. I got all of these replies within an HOUR after sending out my inquiry, proving that some of us are still coherent enough to occasionally ask, "Nanny 9/11, what REALLY happened on September 11, 2001?"

PS: And what about Building 7? Although we didn't find this out until about a year later, Giuliani ordered it to be demolished and it was taken down at 5:20 pm. Boy, would I love to talk to a few of the members of the demolition crew that allegedly set the charges that day. How did they DO it so quickly? Especially with the building supposedly on fire? Did about a hundred or so construction guys go running through the smoking building and up and down the stairs carrying dynamite, flashlights and extension cords? Were the lights and elevators in the building still working? I would love to have one of these demolition experts explain to me about how (and when) the charges were set. How did they lock and load an entire building so fast? Or was it locked and loaded already?

Big Brother 6: Be Head of Household and help me get ready for the foster kids!

Okay, here are the nominees: Maggie? April? Janelle? No! Me and my junk. The social worker came out yesterday and said, "You will be eligible for two foster children as soon as you can get rid of all this CLUTTER". So. This is your opportunity to be a good Big Brother and HELP ME OUT. On this week's episode of Big Brother 6 Rachel said, "Howie caused some trouble in the house last week." Come cause some good in my house. And win the power of VETO too!

Here's the story: Everybody gets a penny and we all flip coins. If your coin lands on heads, the object flipped on lands in the "to go" pile. Tails? It lands in the "stay" pile. You can exchange items in the piles but only if they are the same size. If a bunch of people do it, we can EVICT all the junk in my house and let some foster kids have a good home.

This show starts Saturday August 27, 2005 from noon to whenever -- at my house.

PS: Anybody got any spare bunks beds they want to donate to the future houseguests? That would be great.

PPS: I am NOT Julie Chan.

PPPS: After we get done throwing the clutter out of MY house, let's clean all the clutter out of the WHITE House.

Ebert & Roeper: Please give the Bush Republicans two big thumbs DOWN!

"It's all gratuitous violence and no plot." How many times have we heard Roger Ebert say that? "Sure, the special effects are awesome but all those explosions are just a poor attempt to cover up the fact that the screenwriting is pathetic, the plot is a disaster, the acting is terrible and the concept was stolen off some 1950s B-movie that bombed at the box office the first time around."

Roger could very well be describing America under the Bush Republicans. "If you are going to go to all the expense of making a movie, why not make one that is well-written and well-thought-out." Bush-Cheney movies are starting to get a really bad reputation in the film industry. "Instead of having good ideas and snappy dialog, whenever the plot is weak, they just blow something up."

Then I bet that Richard Roeper would get that pained expression on his face as well. "Roger, I have to agree with you there. This stinker will DEFINITELY be on my top ten worst-movies-of-all-time list."

Picture it this way. Imagine that America is like a major motion picture studio that has been taken over by a bunch of bozos in suits who have never made a movie before. At first the studio's vast resources and good reputation could absorb the cost of making box office flop after box office flop -- but after FIVE WHOLE YEARS of producing such loser flicks as "The Dukes of Election Fraud" and "Deuce Dubya, Iraq War Gigolo" and "The Economy Crashers," even Studio America is gonna be in trouble.

To paraphrase Ebert and Roeper (and Gene Siskel too, somewhere up there in Movie Heaven!), "Two thumbs WAY down."

America needs to dump those no-talent Bush Republicans in Washington and start using our studio clout to make movies that really matter -- classic films that will move us to the core and make us better people for having watched them; movies with good screenwriting, good acting and even HAPPY ENDINGS.

At the end of all the Bush Brothers movies, everyone always dies.

PS: Bush Republican movie "plots" appear to be too complex for the average American movie-goer to grasp -- so here's a quick formula to help guide you through their seeming complexities: Bush Republican movies are NOT about defending America and protecting us from terrorists while our children sleep at night in their beds. Every single one of the endless movies they produce always has the same simple plot line. "A daring scheme to transfer all of OUR money into Bush Republican tax-free offshore bank accounts."

Just remember the plot from "Ocean's 11" and you pretty much have the picture. From our vaults to their vaults. It's as simple as that.

What if America resembled Jesus: Long hair, flowing robes, bleeding heart and all

Last night I had a vision too beautiful to describe. America, my country, put on the simple white robes of Jesus and turned to follow His example in thought, word and deed.

Last night, I saw America my country chase the money-changers from the Temple.

Gone were the blood-thirsty hypocrites in Washington who would do ANYTHING for money; spending their tainted billions to turn our politicians into the Whores of Babylon. "No rich man shall serve in Congress," Jesus said. America said "Amen."

If America did put on white robes and followed the teachings ofJesus, what would happen? We would become a light unto the world. And this light would not be fueled with gasoline, nuclear radiation, corporate greed or religious bigotry. It would be fueled with love.

If America were like Jesus -- and gave away her widow's mite and took the chalice in her hands, what a beacon we could become to the nations. But America has found this path too rocky and has become like Herod instead.

Bad men nailed Jesus to the cross. Bad men blew up the World Trade Center. Yet Jesus never faltered. "Thou shalt not kill," he said. "Thou shalt not kill." But instead of listening to Him, America faltered and fell and covered her hands with blood. Over 153,00 people died because Bush Republicans desired juicy weapons contracts, encouraging us to live in fear. Do you honestly think that Jesus would be proud of what they did?

"If you did it to the least of them," said Jesus, "you did it unto me." America's soldiers committed atrocities. America's politicians ordered them to do it. America's citizens relished all the gore.

On the Via Dolorosa, Jesus and His mother cried out at the cruelty and the sin. Yet the Roman soldiers pounded in the nails. And the American soldiers did things even worse. And America, my country, let this happen. What would Jesus do.

If America followed the teachings of Jesus -- it would take much more courage than we have.

If America acted like Jesus did, we would not be afraid of death. It is better to die a hero than to lose our immortal souls. Every single one of us will die most surely. It is a human's fate. So why sacrifice our glory now -- and in Heaven -- so that we can live just a few more wretched years in cowardice and in fear? And what follower of Jesus would drop bombs on innocent women and children? If you plan to kill infants, at least take the responsibility to do it face to face.

How much easier and safer it seems at first opinion to follow fear, cruelty, false prophets, Mammon and Satan. But moral cowardice is NEVER the safer road to Jerusalem. The only way that America will ever be safe is to lose its life to gain eternal life and become known as the gentle servant of Mankind, the light unto the world.

I had a vision of America following the principles of Jesus and setting an example. Will it happen? It could. Imagine if it did. I would be PROUD to be an American again. It's been a long, long time since I have been able to say that.

PS: I usually only like to write funny stuff and satires but occasionally my DNA takes over and next thing you know all those seven generations of preachers that I am descended from grab ahold of me and send me visions and there's nothing I can do about it -- except to make you guys share it with me. Sorry about that.

Those must have been some really bad pilots? Sorry George

I now work on the fortieth floor in a REALLY TALL building in San Francisco. As I was looking out my window today, I realized that it would take a REALLY GOOD pilot to be able to hit a skyscraper -- not some flight-school dropouts. Whoever flew those planes into the World Trade Center were REALLY WELL TRAINED!

60 Minutes: How Bush and Cheney failed to defend America on 9-11

You know how they have that big clock on TV every Sunday night, ticking off each segment of "60 Minutes"? Well, here is a 60-minute segment I would LOVE to see -- those crucial 60 minutes before the airliners hit the towers on September 11, 2001. I imagine it would go something like this:

"I'm Leslie Stahl." At last, America, this 60 minutes is for YOU.

"Now tell me," Leslie would say as she interviewed the head of NORAD, the air defense command unit responsible for intercepting hijacked airplanes, "after the airliners were in the air, they began to veer off course from their filed flight plan. Why didn't you immediately intercept them? Isn't that standard operating procedure?"

"Usually when an airplane goes off course like that," replied General NORAD, "we scramble jets within minutes and intercept the plane immediately. However a few months before 9/11, Dick Cheney issued a standing order that, should this situation happen to arise, we were to stand down until he told us to act. In those crucial early minutes of flight pattern deviation on the morning of September 11, 2001, that crucial order was withheld."

"If that order hadn't been withheld, would you have been able to prevent the destruction of the World Trade Center?"

"Definitely."

"Is that what happened with Flight 93?"

"Yes. We were able to determine that the plane was indeed hijacked and we intercepted it over Pennsylvania. Had we been given permission to scramble 30 minutes earlier, we would have been able to stop the WTC tragedy. Definitely."

"Do you have any idea WHY Dick Cheney refused to allow you to defend our country on that day?"

"I have no idea whatsoever. Either it was a sloppy bureaucratic snafu on a level of ineptness that borders on the criminal or it was deliberate treason."

"Either way, America lost?"

"Either way, America lost."

"I'm Leslie Stahl. This has been 60 Minutes."

Then of course Andy would finish the show with some of his usual words of wisdom. "I'm Andy Rooney. When you combine Dick Cheney's unbelievable errors of judgment with George Bush's failure to act on the pre-9/11 intelligence warnings supplied to him by his security advisers, you see a pattern of bumbling and ineptitude that would have been laughable -- or even criminal -- when I was a lad." You got that right, Andy!

Speaking of Camp Crawford, I am hosting a MoveOn vigil on Wednesday, August 17, 2005 at 7:30 pm at the corner of Stuart and Adeline in Berkeley, CA. The theme is "Help Cindy put Bush's feet to the fire".

My blurb on the MoveOn site reads, "Let's help Cindy put Bush's feet to the fire and tell him that we are tired of his creulty in Iraq -- and in America too. In the last five years, that man has managed to sack and burn our economy, barbecue our morals, enflame anyone with a heart and soul, cook the Congressional books and turn our military into out-of-control pyromaniacs. It's time to support Cindy before democracy in America goes up in smoke!

To quote the Grateful Dead, let's show the Bush Republicans that "a dragon with matches is loose on the town." Bring candles and LOTS of Everett & Jones BBQ!

Big Brother 6: Summer of Secrets at the White House

You know me. I LOVE reality shows. But "Big Brother 6: Summer of Secrets" is kinda weird even for me. Its plot? Take a bunch of pseudo-Generation X yuppie wannabes, lock them in a house for three months, offer a one million dollar prize to the last one standing and see what happens. To quote contestant Howie, "People have been cunning, mean, cross-talking and hiding out and being treacherous and scandalous and insidious''. Yuck!

With so much money at stake, everyone in the house began stooping to whole new lows in human behavior -- dishing, back-biting, selling their friends out, whispering, plotting, having affairs off-camera, rigging votes, intimidating people and bribing them, making secret deals and... and it suddenly occurred to me.

This is just like what is going on at the White House!

Trapped in a house and not allowed to get out? Scheming, plotting and gossiping? Lying, cat-fighting, having illicit sex off camera, using people, stacking elections, bribing other players, keeping skulduggery hidden, lying wherever possible and -- did I mention scheming and sticking knives in people's backs? Bush, Rove, Cheney, Rice and Rumsfeld? Are they doing a Big Brother 6 imitation? You bet! They've got that show nailed -- except that the White House houseguests' behavior is much more slimey than in the reality show because in Bush's verion of "Summer of Secrets," millions of people's lives, reputations, jobs and life savings are getting snuffed out as Cheney and Rumsfeld and Rove all compete for Head of Household -- and big bucks.

This kind of behavior may be okay on a television show but for the President [sic] of the United States, his advisers and his cabinet to behave like this too? That is totally unacceptable.

Unlike on a TV show that isn't real and can be turned off if it upsets us, we American patriots (those of us who still foolishly believe in democracy and freedom that is) don't have that option. "Hey, I gotta go raid the refrigerator. I'm turning this crap off!" is not an option for us. No, we have to sit by and watch helplessly while Bush Republicans play Big Brother games at our expense and subject our country to a VERY down-and-dirty Summer of Secrets. That's just wrong.

As contestant Maggie said, "There are people who don't care about their word in this game."

As moderator Julie Chen commented, "Safety is never a sure thing in the Big Brother house."

As contestant Rachel said, "He's a dirty play. We gotta get him out of the way."

PS: Finland has a law where every single government document must be available for public scrutiny. No secrets there. There are no Big Brother schemes and mendacity and obfuscation in Finland. If we had that law here, the White House wouldn't have been able to hide the WMD lies, the Gannon sex cover-up, the betrayal of a CIA agent, the Downing Street memos, the constant plotting of illegal wars, the crimes against our environment and our national parks, the drug company scandals and give-aways, the full-scale looting of Social Security, the disappearing John Roberts White House records, the electronic voting scams, the Enron mess....

There's no secret here. I want a law like Finland has!

PPS: Contestant Kaysar Ridha was voted back into the Big Brother 6 house this week. Five million Americans voted on who they wanted to return to the house and 82% of them voted for him. The kicker? Kaysar was born in Iraq! America votes in many ways, George. Is America trying to TELL you something here? Like that you should be evicted from the White House? And sent back to Camp Crawford? Or to jail?

Police Report # 0328170: Have Gaza settlers sent me death threats too?

In the August 5, 2005 issue of the Berkeley Daily Planet, Dr. Lawrence White stated, "And how come the leaders of the anti-Israel cabal in Berkeley repeatedly claim threatening phone calls, but never once file a police report or attempt to track down the source of the alleged threats."

Well, I don't qualify as being "anti-Israel". You gotta be in favor of the Likud party and/or Ariel Sharon to be anti-Israel. I am definitely not in favor of either. These people and other right-wing extremists -- from the Stern Gang terrorists and Moishe Dayan's tendency toward massive blood-letting to the Shatila massacre, the bulldozing of thousands of Palestinian houses (some with the families still in them) and the Gaza settlers who tried to lynch a Palestinian teenager -- have done more to hurt Israel than anyone I can think of this side of World War II.

However even though I don't qualify as being anti-Israel, with regard to death threats and police reports, I do qualify there. In 2003, after I wrote a letter to an editor stating that the quality of life in Palestinian Gaza showed more than a passing resemblance to that in the Warsaw ghetto, I received a 3 am phone call from some guy informing me that if I ever compared Gaza to the Warsaw ghetto again, I would be dead.

So. What did I do? I FILED A POLICE REPORT! Duh. Berkeley Police Report number 0328170. And I never mentioned that Gaza is an open-air re-enactment of the Warsaw ghetto again! Well, at least not too often. But they never tracked down the bad guy. And I'm still alive. Sorry about that.

Dr. White, for your information, I own land in Gaza. I own a condo, a swimming pool AND a greenhouse. Several of them. Bought and paid for by me. And by all the other U.S. taxpayers. Forget all that "This land is mine" nonsense from the settlers in Gaza. Despite what our Ariel would have you think, little Jewish school kids buying savings bonds didn't purchase all those condos and swimming pools and access roads and IDF uniforms and bulldozers and F-16s and even all those atomic bombs. Those items were purchased with billions and billions and billions of dollars from American tax payers.

Forget about the settlers in Gaza. Those condos belong to ME.

PS: Here is the letter that got me in trouble. You think it's worthy of a death threat? Am I THAT good a writer? I wish.

Warsaw Ghetto Reenactment: Come to Israel this summer! It's authentic!

Are you a World War II buff? Do you collect the memorabilia, know all the battles by heart, visit the famous battlefields, read all the books? Would you like to experience the true look and feel of that period? Then come on down to Israel this summer!

Israelis have spared no expense to recreate the famous Warsaw Ghetto in almost exact detail. The sunken eyes, the famished children, the guard towers, the house-to-house arrests, the closing of universities, the burning of books, the little girl in the red coat, even the Final Solution! It's all here. Come on down!

This reenactment is not for farbs and amateurs. This is authentic! There is real blood on the streets of Palestine! You can actually see a two-year-old shot before your very eyes.

Send for a list of hotels and motels available. Discounts for seniors. Plenty of free parking. This event is sponsored by the United States Congress. Thank you for your $8.5 million dollars a day, guys. It wouldn't be possible without you!

Elephants, big tents & juggling acts: How special elections bring Bush's circus to YOUR town!

California is facing a special election this fall. The issues on the ballot are petty and unimportant. So why does Arnold Schwarzenegger call for one? So that he can entertain himself watching Democrats, Greens, school teachers, nurses and labor unions run around like clowns just dumped out of a clown car -- desperately scrambling everywhere as they frantically search for money to fight the latest Bush Republican power grab.

And this is not only just happening in California. All across America, Bush Republicans are demanding special elections as vociferously as if they were barkers under the Big Top. So watch your voting booths carefully, all you hayseeds. The Bush Republican circus is in town -- and the shills are working the crowd!

Arnie -- I would call him "Governor Schwarzenegger" if I knew that little old ladies with blue hair had counted the ballots that elected him instead of the ballots being counted by Bush Republican party hacks -- knows the same thing that every Bush-supporting one-trick pony politician in America knows: They all have access to an unlimited "War Chest" that will allow them to put on a really Big Show. Every single Bush Republican party-line-swallower in the country knows that they have enough money to keep this "special election" three-ring circus going -- and going and going and going.

And where does all this money come from? It ain't coming from Barnum and Bailey! Apparently the U.S. treasury is financing this show. Here's how it works: Corporate cronies of the Bush family learned early on that for every dollar they "contribute" to these pseudo-GOP strong men, a Bush Republican-controlled Congress will pass laws giving them at least a 400% return on their money. Watch the circus magicians on Capitol Hill as they magically produce de-regulations, access to resources and pork-barrel contracts for Bush's cronies -- and also watch spellbound as money magically disappears from our wallets as well.

With such a gigantic amount of return on campaign "investment," you can bet that the Bush Republican circus is in your town to stay.

With unlimited resources to erect their Big Tents in our cities and their own people manning the voting machine side-shows and selling the tickets, Bush Republicans can easily defeat Dems, school teachers, Greens, etc. by forcing us gullible little guys who still believe in democracy to spend money and spend money and spend money that we don't have on hundreds of one-ring special elections, leaving us poor naive hayseeds busted, broke and working without a net -- unable to compete with the pseudo-GOP ring masters at all.

So nowadays the Bush Republicans instigate special elections, re-call elections, initiative elections, replacement elections -- you get the idea. Give them ANY excuse for a ballot and they start setting up their show.

And with the Democrats and labor unions and teachers and Greens and working stiffs' limited budgets, when the Big Boys set up their Big Tents, the small-town circuses ALWAYS get shut down. Sorry. No cotton candy and lion tamers for us!

P.T. Barnum said there was a sucker born every minute -- and the suckers here are us. But even though the Bush Republicans have cages and cages full of lion tamers and Fat Cats, you can't fool all the people all of the time. Sooner or later Americans are going to finally notice that the pseudo-GOP performances are always big fakes and rip-offs -- and that we NEVER get our money back after a bad show.

But you gotta give the Bush Republicans credit. They DO have a great high wire act. There's always something going on up in the air to keep our eyes off the shills who are picking our pockets and working the crowd. There's always some sideshow to divert us -- whether it's gays, abortions, feeding tubes, corporation-kissing Supreme Court nominees, the Rove-Plame scandal, fear, weapons of mass destruction, London, Iraq or 9/11.

And what will they do next to "entertain" us and keep our eyes off all the smoke and mirrors? I really don't want to know.

PS: My friend Earle just e-mailed me. "Bush will never leave Iraq," he said. "He and his cronies are making too much money there to ever give it up." And he's right. Why would Bush Republicans ever want to end this bitter and terrible war -- when it is pouring something like a billion dollars a week into their coffers?

Halliburton makes so much money in Iraq that they don't know what to do with it all and Paul Bremmer alone managed to "lose" 8.8 billion dollars. Why would they want THAT to stop? Because they respect honesty? For love of their fellow-man? To save the economy? To save the planet? To save democracy? To save our "non-negotiable" lifestyle that is now fast-disappearing into their pockets? To save Christianity? To save their immortal souls? Or just to keep innocent women and children from being nuked and napalmed and American cities safe?
Bush Republicans are NOT INTERESTED in that kind of stuff. The Iraq war is their cash cow. Period. End of story. The Circus of Greed is in town.

PPS: And exactly what is the product that the pseudo-GOP circus is selling us? Is it entertainment? No no no. It is FEAR. And this product is selling like hot-cakes! Why should they stop selling it just because it might be hazardous to our heath? It is making them money hand over fist! Why stop selling a good thing? These people are being rewarded BIG-TIME for turning America into a nation of cowards -- terrified out of their minds by a bunch of avaricious clowns.

Let's stop buying the Bush Republicans' product and stuff them and their bare lying tigers into the next circus train out of town!

Poking sticks at the tiger: Why Muslim-baiting is NOT a good idea

The guy down the street from me has a very nasty temper. He belongs to a gang. He has a tattoo. He carries a knife. When he walks down the street, people avoid him. They leave him alone. He leaves them alone. This is a good idea.

There is a tiger in the Oakland Zoo who does not suffer fools gladly. If you put your arm in his cage, he would chew it off. I don't put my hand in his cage. This works out well for me. This works out well for the tiger.

Here's another example. Don't mess with hornets' nests, coiled rattle snakes, desperate housewives or Tony Soprano. And don't keep picking the scab off a wound.

People with any sense at all know this. Yet in the past 50 years, American leaders have gone out of their way to mess with the Muslims of the Middle East. That is just plain foolish. Jeez Louise. We all watched "Lawrence of Arabia". We KNOW that Muslims are fierce fighters who will die for their land and their ideals if they are invaded and are very big on holding a grudge.

Poking them with sticks is one of the most stupid things anyone can do.

Am I calling our "leaders" stupid? Guess.

Despite their fierce reputation and temper, Muslims are basically patient. When something bothers Muslims, at first they just say, "Inshallah" -- it is God's will. It takes a lot to anger a Muslim. But 50 years of watching their women and children die has finally gotten to them. And they, like tigers that have been mis-treated too often, are finally pissed off!

If only we could go back to 1945, BEFORE American-funded Zionist terrorists blew up the King David Hotel and seized Palestine.

If only we could go back to 1952, BEFORE Eisenhower gave the order to overthrow the democratci republic of Iran.

If only we could go back to 1978, BEFORE the CIA filled Afghanistan with land mines and armed all the drug dealers and warlords. And Osama bin Ladin too.

If only we could go back to 1979, BEFORE Reagan and Rumsfeld armed Saddam Hussein and turned him loose on his fellow Arabs like a fox in the hen house.

If only we could go back to 1990, BEFORE Bush Senior gave Hussein the green light to seize the Kuwaiti oil fields.

If only we could go back to 2000, BEFORE the idiots in Washington dreamed up Shock and Awe.

If only we could go back to BEFORE SEPTEMBER 11, 2001, before the intifadas, before Madrid and London, before the insurgence -- before the tiger started to strike back. But we can't go back. We can only go forward -- and keep making all the same old stupid mistakes....

Or our so-called leaders could finally give up their fascination with tormenting tigers, stop killing Islamic women and children and leave the Muslims alone.

PS: When I went to confession last month and told my priest that I had become a Muslim, he was NOT a happy camper. "I don't think that is allowable," he said.

Why not?

Religions are the crowning glory of human evolution. Buddhism is the bed-rock of wisdom. And I also want to become a Jew. As John Gray, the author of "Children are from Heaven," kindly instructed us befuddled parents, "It's okay to want more."

PPS: Wanna buy a T-shirt from my fabulous "Summer 2005 World Tour of San Francisco Bay Area Mosques"? So far, I've been to three mosques in Oakland, One mosque in Hayward and a Muslim trance-dancing group in Berkeley. Or you could take a pass on my T-shirts and go on your own world tour.

Before people go bad-mouthing Muslims and executing and torturing them too, it would be a good idea to get to know a few. The initial reason I wanted to become a Muslim was to piss off George Bush but now I find that being a Muslim suits me -- and I like the people too. The Muslims I have met so far on my tour have been very spiritual people -- and also very open and friendly. Plus the Madison Street mosque in Oakland serves a wonderful free lunch.

Please stop killing Muslims. And please stop killing Christians, Jews, Buddhists and Hindus too. Just be glad that all of us have faith in a just and loving God and leave it at that. And EVERYONE needs to remember one important item common to all genuine religions: "Thou shalt not kill."

PPPS (my last one, honest!): My friend MA just sent me an e-mail about Army Staff Sgt. Dale L. Horn, who has just been made an honorary sheik in Iraq. Why? Because he brought water, electricity and education to the local village. They LOVE him. And nobody tries to kill him. They even gave him five (5) sheep!

If Congress spent our money on restoring electricity, water, education (and sheep) to Iraq instead of just making Bush's profiteering cronies wealthy, all would be well in Iraq and our troops could come back home to defend America like they are supposed to instead of tormenting civilians (and tigers) half-way around the world.