Monday, August 08, 2005

Police Report # 0328170: Have Gaza settlers sent me death threats too?

In the August 5, 2005 issue of the Berkeley Daily Planet, Dr. Lawrence White stated, "And how come the leaders of the anti-Israel cabal in Berkeley repeatedly claim threatening phone calls, but never once file a police report or attempt to track down the source of the alleged threats."

Well, I don't qualify as being "anti-Israel". You gotta be in favor of the Likud party and/or Ariel Sharon to be anti-Israel. I am definitely not in favor of either. These people and other right-wing extremists -- from the Stern Gang terrorists and Moishe Dayan's tendency toward massive blood-letting to the Shatila massacre, the bulldozing of thousands of Palestinian houses (some with the families still in them) and the Gaza settlers who tried to lynch a Palestinian teenager -- have done more to hurt Israel than anyone I can think of this side of World War II.

However even though I don't qualify as being anti-Israel, with regard to death threats and police reports, I do qualify there. In 2003, after I wrote a letter to an editor stating that the quality of life in Palestinian Gaza showed more than a passing resemblance to that in the Warsaw ghetto, I received a 3 am phone call from some guy informing me that if I ever compared Gaza to the Warsaw ghetto again, I would be dead.

So. What did I do? I FILED A POLICE REPORT! Duh. Berkeley Police Report number 0328170. And I never mentioned that Gaza is an open-air re-enactment of the Warsaw ghetto again! Well, at least not too often. But they never tracked down the bad guy. And I'm still alive. Sorry about that.

Dr. White, for your information, I own land in Gaza. I own a condo, a swimming pool AND a greenhouse. Several of them. Bought and paid for by me. And by all the other U.S. taxpayers. Forget all that "This land is mine" nonsense from the settlers in Gaza. Despite what our Ariel would have you think, little Jewish school kids buying savings bonds didn't purchase all those condos and swimming pools and access roads and IDF uniforms and bulldozers and F-16s and even all those atomic bombs. Those items were purchased with billions and billions and billions of dollars from American tax payers.

Forget about the settlers in Gaza. Those condos belong to ME.

PS: Here is the letter that got me in trouble. You think it's worthy of a death threat? Am I THAT good a writer? I wish.

Warsaw Ghetto Reenactment: Come to Israel this summer! It's authentic!

Are you a World War II buff? Do you collect the memorabilia, know all the battles by heart, visit the famous battlefields, read all the books? Would you like to experience the true look and feel of that period? Then come on down to Israel this summer!

Israelis have spared no expense to recreate the famous Warsaw Ghetto in almost exact detail. The sunken eyes, the famished children, the guard towers, the house-to-house arrests, the closing of universities, the burning of books, the little girl in the red coat, even the Final Solution! It's all here. Come on down!

This reenactment is not for farbs and amateurs. This is authentic! There is real blood on the streets of Palestine! You can actually see a two-year-old shot before your very eyes.

Send for a list of hotels and motels available. Discounts for seniors. Plenty of free parking. This event is sponsored by the United States Congress. Thank you for your $8.5 million dollars a day, guys. It wouldn't be possible without you!