A Moving Day report to our housing project's site manager: Juliette, here's a sample invoice for my HUD fair housing complaint....

Well, I checked on my new unit on Saturday and someone was over there painting the back bedroom. The toilet was in place. The linoleum was laid. Then I checked again today and the back room was finished. Now it just needs the kitchen painted, the rug cleaned and stretched and a few other touches. The move-in is looking good for Monday night -- but more likely Tuesday. Thanks again for your help.

And I spent all day Saturday fantasizing about getting moved by real movers and having help from personal home organizers and packers and googling around to check on their services and rates -- but then it hit me. That's not going to happen. I'm moving on Monday. Forget the packers and planners and the four strong men with the truck. Too late for that. It's gonna be me and Joe and Ashley and a shopping cart.

So. Here's the invoice I'm thinking of sending to HUD. In addition, I am also considering a further demand that Mel, Elsie, Evelyn, Waldo, Sasha (BTW, the police were at her home Friday, looking for someone "out of control") and Sukey "volunteer" to resign from the Board as part of the settlement. And also perhaps I should add a change-order stating that $100 a day be added to my invoice for every day that the Board doesn't settle this case. Yes, I'm that angry. But I'll get over it. Honest! Well, maybe....

PS: Page 7-29 of the Occupancy Handbook ("....if a tenant is transferred as a **reasonable** accomodation to a household member's disability, the the owner **must** pay the costs associated with the transfer....") seems to say that landlords are responsible for moving costs in a situation like mine -- whether or not there is a Fair Housing complaint involved. Am I interpreting this wrong?

Invoice from Jane Stillwater for moving expenses regarding 2817 Milvia Street:

1. Costs of spending several extra months in unnecessary pain caused by having to struggle up and down a flight of stairs 15-25 times a day because my new home has been unavailable due to various Board delay tactics.

2. Costs of spending two days calling movers for estimates and researching moving companies, personal home organizers, packers, computer nerds, etc. on the web and daydreaming about how nice it will be to have professional movers take care of this huge operation and I won't have to worry about it and my knees wouldn't be under any strain. (See Page 7-29 of HUD's Multifamily Occupancy Handbook, Item B-2: "....if a tenant is transferred as a **reasonable** accomodation to a household member's disability, the the owner **must** pay the costs associated with the transfer....")

3. Costs of realizing that my HUD Fair Housing complaint wasn't anywhere near being settled; that the Board was perfectly capable of stalling it off for months if not years; that I was supposed to start moving on June 16, 2008; that I wouldn't be getting awarded moving costs in time to pay people to help me move; and that what was actually going to happen was that I would be going over to the Berkeley Bowl Marketplace, "borrowing" a shopping cart and making the freaking move all by myself.

4. Costs of being able to offer (not bribe!) my grownup children with lots and lots of pizza in order to encourage them to help me move the heavy stuff.

5. Costs of having to report to my doctor to see what he can do to ease the pain in my knees caused by having to move everything myself.