Saturday, December 02, 2006

Your home is your museum: Don't call it housecleaning. Call it CURATING!

One thing that I discovered the hard way is that one has to be entertaining, amusing, intelligent, anecdotal, spiritual, well-intentioned and honest. You gotta be someone you yourself can respect, look up to and want to spend time with.


Because in the course of a lifetime, the person you spend the most time with isn't your mother, your spouse, your best friend, your boss or even your dog (I hear that dogs are people too). The person you spend the most time with is YOU. And you had better like this person or you are in big trouble.

Suppose you had to spend ten years in solitary confinement (Hey George Bush just made it legal to throw you in jail forever without a trial if HE doesn't like you). And if that happened, could you even STAND listening to that nattering voice in your head for ten whole years? Or would be all happy to spend all that Quality time with your new best friend? "Oh, goody! The guards have gone away. Now I can get back to that interesting conversation I was having with ME!"

One of the things I hate about myself is my total disregard for housecleaning. I ask myself -- quite often actually -- if I want to clean up the house. "Nope. Don't bother me. Not interested." So. I find myself living with a slob. Me + Me = The Odd Couple.

I really get along with myself regarding politics, religion, moral values and musical taste. I love spending time with myself more than anybody! But I hate that I have absolutely NO motivation to clean house.

So. To keep peace in my brain, I'm gonna trick myself into liking housework by doing a paradigm switch. "Don't think of this place as a home," I told myself yesterday. "Think of it as a museum." Fabulous! Now I'm not the maid. I'm the CURATOR! I can do that.

Welcome to the Stillwater Museum of Art & Technology.

Excuse me while I go vacuum and dust some exhibits.

PS: On a more serious note, here's some really heavy-duty advice to potential suicides. "Don't do it. Just don't. Don't even think about doing it." If you kill yourself, you will be murdering the one person in the world who cares most about you. Stop even thinking about the idea of doing that to your best friend.