Sunday, September 05, 2004

Explaining Bush to swing voters: Think of him as "The Fairy Godfather"

George Bush is reading bedtime stories to Americans. And these bedtime stories are putting them to sleep. Bush's personal favorite is Little Red Riding Hood.

I watched The 700 Club this morning and what they said about George Bush made even ME want to go out and vote for the man. Patriotism? Honesty? God-like wisdom? What more could I possibly want in a candidate? "President Bush will bring America to new heights with his programs to vitalize the economy, educate our children and give us the good life." Wow! I want that! "And freedom and democracy too."

Bush plans to do an extreme makeover on me personally. I can own a house now. I can drive a Cadillac. I will be free from fear. And my kids will behave themselves too. Sign me up! Sign me up!

Alas, like Hans Christian Anderson tried to warn us, it's all too good to be true.

If half the things George Bush has promised us in the last four years had actually happened, we would already be living in the Golden Age of America, right? So why are there so many homeless people? Why have our local taxes skyrocketed? Why do college tuitions now cost an arm and a leg? Why are they shutting down our schools? Why have our libraries closed? Why are our sons and daughters being given back to us in body bags? Why is our military falling apart? Why are vets losing their rights? Why have our HMOs become like casinos (where the house always wins)? Why are so many of us unemployed? Why has the bankruptcy rate zoomed? Why are our children now doing "terrorist" drills in school? WHY ISN'T AMERICA SAFE? And why has the price of cucumbers risen 50 cents in the last month alone?

Ask Little Red Riding Hood. Ask Hansel and Gretel. Ask Bush himself.

Bush will smile at you sincerely and say, "Once upon a time..." And once again we will all believe him. Why not? He is our Fairy Godfather.

Why not? Why not? Because America is currently being eaten alive by neo-con ogres, giants, witches, werewolves, vampires and trolls! That's why not.

Speaking of Grimm reality, watch this video: 9/11 In Plane Sight: