Cheney in Hell: Making friends with dead folks

    I'm sick and tired of being around alive people.  They are just a whole bunch of work.  From now on, I'm only going to have Dead People for friends.  Do you know how many dead homo sapiens there are in existence right now?  117 billion dead people  http://www.livescience.com/18336-human-population-dead-living-infographic.html  That certainly offers up a big new bunch of "friending" possibilities to chose from!  How does one go about contacting the dead?  I'd love to know.

     A friend of mine just sent me a list of the top five countries that are super-hard to get extradited from.  I just hope that Edward Snowden can get to one of these countries alive -- so that I won't have to list him as one of my new dead BFFs too.

     One of the countries that was listed is Dubai.  That certainly explains why Dick Cheney moved Halliburton there http://tv.msnbc.com/2013/06/21/the-border-surge-christmas-comes-early-for-halliburton/.  But maybe Cheney should have moved his business to Hell instead.  There's positively no extradition from Hell!  Plus then Halliburton would be there waiting for him when he finally gets there himself.

     "Cheney, what were you THINKING when you bombed Iraq!"

    I really really want to learn how to communicate with the dead.  Who wouldn't just love to interview J. Edgar Hoover for instance -- on his opinion of the NSA.  The man surely would be in ecstasy over the kinds of things that the NSA can now do.  But how the freak does one talk to someone in Hell?  Would that be the ultimate fireside chat or what! 

     "But, Jane," you might say, "anyone can talk to the dead.  All you have to do is just open your mouth and let words come out."  And therein lies the hard part.  How can you manage to get the dead to talk back?

PS:  After attending the recent Netroots Nation convention in San Jose http://www.netrootsnation.org/nn13-keynote-panel-archive/, I went on a tour of local Dead Folks on my drive back to Berkeley -- starting with the world-famous Rosicrucian Museum.  Boy do they have a lot of mummies and such.  Dead guys galore.  I was clearly among friends.

     Next came the Winchester Mystery House, which is supposed to be haunted.  But no ghosts talked to me there either.  Snubbed.  Guess Sarah Winchester is a Mean Girl at heart.

     After that I stopped by Skylawn cemetery, to have a nice cozy chat with my pop and my mom.  I always sit by their graves and tell them all the latest hot gossip about my life when I go there.  But, unfortunately, not even Mom and Pop were able to talk back.

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If anyone ever wants to hire me on as a travel writer (or war correspondent), "Have laptop, will travel!"

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Are you a plaintiffs' attorney who is tired of writing those pesky personal injury settlement briefs all the time? No problem! I can write them for you. Years of experience. And pay me only if you win the case.
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I recently got my Notary Public commission!

Need a Notary Public? Have seal, will travel. E-mail me at jpstillwater@yahoo.com and I'll stamp your document, make it official and only charge $10. Of course if you live outside of Berkeley, I may have to charge travel expenses -- but am well worth it!

****

Want something good to read? Buy my book! "Bring Your Own Flak Jacket: Helpful Tips for Touring Today's Middle East," available at Amazon and Barnes & Noble. http://www.amazon.com/Bring-Your-Own-Flak-Jacket/dp/0978615719/ref=cm_pdp_rev_itm_title_1. It's like if Jack Kerouac, Mark Twain and/or Janet Evanovich went to war.

I also wrote a book about going on Hajj (also included as a chapter in "Bring Your Own Flak Jacket," but this book is cheaper -- but it's worth buying them both!) My book on the Hajj is so outstanding that I bet even Christian fundamentalists will love it! Please buy it here: http://www.amazon.com/Mecca-Hajj-Lessons-Islamic-School/dp/0978615700/ref=cm_rdp_product
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"Imagine a world where EVERY child is wanted, nurtured, protected and loved: World peace in one generation!"You can now buy T-shirts, coffee mugs, tote bags, truckers' caps, baby gear and/or teddy bears with this logo printed on them. They make great gifts, especially for parents and teachers. To purchase, just click here:http://www.cafepress.com/StillTWaters


"Life is a competition. The winners are the ones who do the most good deeds." You can also buy T-shirts, coffee mugs, tote bags, truckers' caps, baby gear and/or teddy bears with this logo printed on them. They make great gifts, especially for those of us who are still idealists in these troubled times. To purchase, just click here: http://www.cafepress.com/StillTWaters

What a NERVE: Spy agency accuses Snowden of spying (& my next NN report)   I swear, folks, that I'm not making any of this stuff up.   An American spy agency that currently has all of its greedy tentacles tightly wrapped all around every single household in the entire world -- and not in a good way -- has just accused EDWARD SNOWDEN of being a spy. How ironic is that!   And I'm still attending the Netroots Nation convention in San Jose, where we are currently learning about even more and better government and corporate ironies.   For instance, Rep. Mike Honda just spoke about how he himself was born in an American concentration camp for immigrants -- but never even dreamed that concentration camps for immigrants would once again happen here in the "Land of the Free".   Isn't having the NSA tapping all our telephone lines making us "free" enough already? Apparently not.   Next I went to a symposium on immigrants' rights. Apparently a comprehensive immigration bill is not being passed in Congress right now, but it should be. But then the growers and packers who currently exploit and endanger their undocumented slaves will have to deal with having said slaves come out of the shadows and throw them in jail.   Mexico currently trains most of our skilled construction workers. Americans then steal their skills -- but still have no shame about bitching that these skilled workers are here? Huh? http://jpstillwater.blogspot.com/2013/03/mexico-americas-on-job-construction.html   And then Rep. Bruce Braley of Iowa told a tear-producing story about how the Maytag plant in his community suddenly closed down and moved off to China. How ironic. Our workers are being fired so that their jobs can be moved to Asian sweatshops so that corporations can pay less taxes and get cheaper labor at a high cost of you and me -- yet Edward Snowden is the one that is being accused of being unpatriotic. http://www.netrootsnation.org/nn_events/nn-13/what-we-can-do-to-expose-red-white-and-blue-washing/   Irony is alive and well here at Netroots Nation.   Then there was a free food-truck event here, and then Senator Jeff Merkley and Dolores Huerta and Howard Dean spoke about stuff -- mainly about how America today needs to boldly face up to the challenges of today's America; not to challenges that may have been important to rich people back when Herbert Hoover was first elected president.   Get your head out of the sand, America. Or else climate change, endless war, domination by the greedy, etc. are gonna super-fry your butt as it sticks up there in the air. How ironic will that be.   Senator Barbara Boxer and Rep. Nancy Pelosi spoke next. "Republicans want to shut down the government,"  Pelosi said.  No they don't.  They want to own the government.  And they already do.  Another hypocritical irony here.     "I don't know why Boehner cries all the time. Imagine if I did that!" said Pelosi. That's ironic too. And then there was another free lunch. Yay! And after that? Will the NSA accuse me of spying too -- for running my blog?   PS: Tomorrow I'm gonna cruise by the Rosicrucian Egyptian Museum on the way home, to look at all their mummies. America, wake up -- or you may end up being mummified too.   Bradley Manning, Edward Snowden, Al Gore and others who fight for peace and justice -- they are the waves of the future. How ironic is it that all that most Americans are doing right now is learning more and better mummification techniques -- and being led by dinosaurs like Anton Scalia, John Boehner, Mitch McConnell, AIPAC and Dick Cheney.       ************************************* ************************************* Advertizements for myself: In these hard times of brutal (and illegal) corporatist ball-busting socialism-for-the-rich-only, I am doing whatever I can to make a spare dollar. Here are some of my current alternate-economy schemes that never seem to work -- but I keep hoping! ****** If anyone ever wants to hire me on as a travel writer (or war correspondent), "Have laptop, will travel!" ****** Need someone to help you throw out stuff? I'm really good at deciding what needs to be thrown out (starting with all those corporate-owned bums in Washington!) **** Need an actor to play an older woman in your movie? Then I'm your man! I can portray all kinds of older women -- from judges, business execs and other insane zombies to bag ladies, cancer patients, kindly grandmothers and dying patients in rest homes. I've played them all. So send me a script and let's do this. Hollywood, here we come! Here's my reel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C91uEYjLUXA **** Are you a plaintiffs' attorney who is tired of writing those pesky personal injury settlement briefs all the time? No problem! I can write them for you. Years of experience. And pay me only if you win the case. **** I recently got my Notary Public commission! Need a Notary Public? Have seal, will travel. E-mail me at jpstillwater@yahoo.com and I'll stamp your document, make it official and only charge $10. Of course if you live outside of Berkeley, I may have to charge travel expenses -- but am well worth it! **** Want something good to read? Buy my book! "Bring Your Own Flak Jacket: Helpful Tips for Touring Today's Middle East," available at Amazon and Barnes & Noble. http://www.amazon.com/Bring-Your-Own-Flak-Jacket/dp/0978615719/ref=cm_pdp_rev_itm_title_1. It's like if Jack Kerouac, Mark Twain and/or Janet Evanovich went to war. I also wrote a book about going on Hajj (also included as a chapter in "Bring Your Own Flak Jacket," but this book is cheaper -- but it's worth buying them both!) My book on the Hajj is so outstanding that I bet even Christian fundamentalists will love it! Please buy it here: http://www.amazon.com/Mecca-Hajj-Lessons-Islamic-School/dp/0978615700/ref=cm_rdp_product **** "Imagine a world where EVERY child is wanted, nurtured, protected and loved: World peace in one generation!"You can now buy T-shirts, coffee mugs, tote bags, truckers' caps, baby gear and/or teddy bears with this logo printed on them. They make great gifts, especially for parents and teachers. To purchase, just click here:http://www.cafepress.com/StillTWaters "Life is a competition. The winners are the ones who do the most good deeds." You can also buy T-shirts, coffee mugs, tote bags, truckers' caps, baby gear and/or teddy bears with this logo printed on them. They make great gifts, especially for those of us who are still idealists in these troubled times. To purchase, just click here: http://www.cafepress.com/StillTWaters

Reporting from NN on unions: How the URSCR, the most powerful union in America, is destroying our country      Here at the Netroots Nation convention in San Jose, CA, the presence of various American labor unions is in evidence everywhere. The National Education Association tells us a sad story about how 300,000 American teachers have been laid off in recent years -- ever since No Child Left Behind decided to leave teachers behind too. The Laborers' International Union of North America says that they are ready, willing and able to put our country back to work, "rebuilding America's energy systems, crumbling roads, bridges and transit systems." Isn't it time for them to finally start implementing our "Rooftop Revolution" and bring solar power into every home? The Alliance for American Manufacturing demands the creation of more stuff that is "Made in America" -- and I have their key chain to prove it too. "Make corporations pledge to move jobs back to the United States where they belong." It's as simple as that. The SEIU gave a Karaoke party here. I got to sing along with 2 Chainz -- and support American workers at the same time. The unions here at Netroots Nation all represent good people, strong workers and proud Americans, trying to put the American economy back together again. But there is one union in America that did not come to Netroots Nation. There is one union in America that is doing everything it can to block our American economy from moving forward. There is one union in America that goes on strike constantly, for months at a time, even though these strikes severely damage our country. There is one union in America that bullies and threatens its members to keep them in line. There is one union in Americ that misappropriates its members funds -- and even outright steals them if it thinks it can get away with it. There is one union in America that is lazy, self-serving, corrupt, inefficient and determined to destroy the very fabric of our country whenever it can. "What union is that?" you might ask. It's the URSCR, of course. The Union of Republican Senators and Congressional Representatives. And Washington DC is their union town. PS: I'm currently attending a workshop on "Red-White-and-Blue-Washing," wherein our good American jobs are being all shipped overseas and yet corporations try to make it appear that these jobs are being created at home. NOT. Thanks again, URSCR.

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Advertizements for myself: In these hard times of brutal (and illegal) corporatist ball-busting socialism-for-the-rich-only, I am doing whatever I can to make a spare dollar. Here are some of my current alternate-economy schemes that never seem to work -- but I keep hoping!
******

If anyone ever wants to hire me on as a travel writer (or war correspondent), "Have laptop, will travel!"

******
Need someone to help you throw out stuff? I'm really good at deciding what needs to be thrown out (starting with all those corporate-owned bums in Washington!)

****
Need an actor to play an older woman in your movie? Then I'm your man! I can portray all kinds of older women -- from judges, business execs and other insane zombies to bag ladies, cancer patients, kindly grandmothers and dying patients in rest homes. I've played them all. So send me a script and let's do this. Hollywood, here we come! Here's my reel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C91uEYjLUXA
****
Are you a plaintiffs' attorney who is tired of writing those pesky personal injury settlement briefs all the time? No problem! I can write them for you. Years of experience. And pay me only if you win the case.
****

I recently got my Notary Public commission!

Need a Notary Public? Have seal, will travel. E-mail me at jpstillwater@yahoo.com and I'll stamp your document, make it official and only charge $10. Of course if you live outside of Berkeley, I may have to charge travel expenses -- but am well worth it!

****

Want something good to read? Buy my book! "Bring Your Own Flak Jacket: Helpful Tips for Touring Today's Middle East," available at Amazon and Barnes & Noble. http://www.amazon.com/Bring-Your-Own-Flak-Jacket/dp/0978615719/ref=cm_pdp_rev_itm_title_1. It's like if Jack Kerouac, Mark Twain and/or Janet Evanovich went to war.

I also wrote a book about going on Hajj (also included as a chapter in "Bring Your Own Flak Jacket," but this book is cheaper -- but it's worth buying them both!) My book on the Hajj is so outstanding that I bet even Christian fundamentalists will love it! Please buy it here: http://www.amazon.com/Mecca-Hajj-Lessons-Islamic-School/dp/0978615700/ref=cm_rdp_product
****
"Imagine a world where EVERY child is wanted, nurtured, protected and loved: World peace in one generation!"You can now buy T-shirts, coffee mugs, tote bags, truckers' caps, baby gear and/or teddy bears with this logo printed on them. They make great gifts, especially for parents and teachers. To purchase, just click here:http://www.cafepress.com/StillTWaters


"Life is a competition. The winners are the ones who do the most good deeds." You can also buy T-shirts, coffee mugs, tote bags, truckers' caps, baby gear and/or teddy bears with this logo printed on them. They make great gifts, especially for those of us who are still idealists in these troubled times. To purchase, just click here: http://www.cafepress.com/StillTWaters