Saturday, October 15, 2005

The Great Depression: What will we do when we no longer have Bush to kick around?

When the kids are acting out and my bank account registers zero and the house is a mess, I can always make myself feel better by saying nasty things about George Bush. But my friend Wendy just e-mailed me the results of a recent AOL poll. "It says that 92% of America thinks the country is headed in the wrong direction and 84% think Bush is doing a poor job." 84%! That man is history! That man is toast. Soon he will be wearing an orange jump suit. Good.

But what will I have to complain about after Bush is off under lock and key and rooming with Gabrielle's husband Carlos? Ohhh there'll be plenty left! Trust me on that one. Bush has made such a hash of the planet that I will be up to my eyeballs in "e-mail therapy" for the next ten years -- but by that time there won't be any more electricity so it won't really matter will it? But I can always go back to yelling at the kids. You don't need electricity for that.

Then my friend Robert e-mailed me that most Americans are in debt way over their heads and that the government is 44 trillion dollars in debt too. And if China ever calls home its markers, our economy is doomed, doomed, doomed. Then I won't have to worry about MY depression. I'll have The Great World Depression Part 2 to worry about.

Then my friend MA e-mailed me an article about how the permafrost in Siberia is melting and releasing methane into the air, causing massive greenhouse effects. "The prospects of a worst case scenario, with a temperature increase approaching or exceeding 5.8 degrees Celsius, are increasing dramatically, with all the attending disasters that would entail -- inundated coastlines, extreme storms and drought, disease pandemics, collapsing agriculture, massive environmental refugee flows."

Then my friend Gary reminded me of the dangers from bird flu and how we are totally unprepared for that -- although there is a lot of anthrax vaccine lying around. But it's the BIRDS we are worried about, FEMA. Not the sheep.

Jeeze Louise. You can see by this only-partial list that five years of absolutely terrible governance by the current [illegal] tenants of the White House have left me -- and all the rest of America too -- with enough disasters to bitch and moan about FOREVER. I won't be dependent on George Bush after all! Whew.