Saturday, September 17, 2005

John Roberts: Protecting unborn babies vs. the ultimate corporate lawyer joke

I hate to disillusion the pro-life lobby but John Roberts is NOT going to help us protect unborn babies. If we want to protect the lives of unborn babies, a Bush bureaucrat is not going to be the one to do it.

Want proof? Here's proof. Congress just passed a law that de-regulates mercury pollution. Mercury poisoning causes miscarriages. The new mercury de-regulation law will cause thousands -- perhaps even millions -- of miscarriages; innocent and helpless fetuses to be flushed down toilets. Do heartless Bush bureaucrats care about this mass slaughter of the unborn? Not at all.

My gut feeling is that anyone appointed to the Supreme Court by the Bush bureaucracy is unlikely to protect the unborn, the Ten Commandments, the sanctity of marriage or the Constitution.

So who WILL these Bush judicial appointees protect? Corporations.

Am I a corporation?

Are you?

The Chief Justice of the Supreme Court of the United States of America is supposed to be the highest, most honorable defender of the rights of American citizens and the absolute cream of all that the American judiciary stands for -- not just another greedy corporate lawyer joke.

Lawyer joke # 1: A corporate lawyer and Mother Teresa were stranded in the desert after their airplane crashed. A week later, a search party arrived to rescue them. The party found the lawyer relaxing in the shade of a cactus, while Mother Teresa had shriveled up and died of thirst. "What happened?" they asked the lawyer. "How can you be in such great shape when Mother Teresa has died?" The lawyer shrugged. "I guess she never found the water hole."

On July 21, 2005, a New York Times front page headline described John Roberts this way: "As a Lawyer, Court Nominee Was Considered a Skillful Advocate for Corporate Clients." Roberts' judicial record places him squarely in the pockets of large corporations -- but not in our pockets. Not in ours.

Lawyer joke # 2: A judge was annoyed to find that his car wouldn't start. He called a taxi, and soon one arrived at his house.Climbing in, he told the driver to take him to the halls of justice. "Where are they," asked the driver."You mean to say that you don't know where the courthouse is?" asked the incredulous judge."The courthouse? Of course I know where that is," replied the driver. "But I thought you said you wanted to go to the 'halls of justice.'"

Think about all those tireless poorly-paid storefront non-profit operating-on-a-shoestring midnight-candle-burning pro bono from-the-heart legal advocates of the rights of you and me -- the ones who work their fingers to the bone to protect the rights and freedom of us average Joes. Will one of them ever be considered for the position of Chief Justice of the Supreme Court? Hell no. They will be lucky to get an ocasional 2-minute mention on C-SPAN.

The pro bono attorneys in wrinkled suits who work so hard defending our rights will never be Supreme Court justices. They don't belong to the right country clubs. But Roberts does.

Do we really want the highest judge in the land to be just another corporate shill?

Lawyer joke # 3: A fancy corporate lawyer was driving his big BMW down the highway, singing to himself, "I love my BMW, I love my BMW." Focusing on his car, not his driving, he smashed into a tree. He miraculously survived, but his car was totaled. "My BMW! My BMW!" he sobbed. A good Samaritan drove by and cried out, "Sir, sir, you're bleeding! And my god, your left arm is gone!"The lawyer, horrified, screamed "My Rolex! My Rolex!

So. Will John Roberts turn out to be the ultimate corporate lawyer joke? And will the joke be on us? Is this a chance that we average Joes -- and Janes -- can afford to take?

Lawyer joke # 4: When a person assists a criminal in breaking the law BEFORE the criminal gets arrested, we call him an accomplice.When a person assists a criminal in breaking the law AFTER the criminal gets arrested, we call him a corporate lawyer.

Lawyer joke # 5: Let's make sure that this one isn't about a fancy corporate lawyer serving as Chief Justice of the U.S. Supreme Court!

PS: Welcome to the world's largest garage sale!

Bush bureaucrats are selling off our jobs, our pensions, our treasures, our heirlooms -- and anything else stored in America's basements and closets that they can get good money for. Like a fall yard sale where the sellers hope it doesn't rain before everything goes, they are stripping it down just as fast as they can. And bolting the furniture down won't even stop them. Elections are for sale. Congress is for sale. And now the Supreme Court Chief Justice seat is up for sale too. Do you think that an honest lawyer with the American people's interest at heart can afford to buy that chair? Think again!