Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Mean Girls: To stop a dictator, take away his resources

I was sitting around the waiting room of my doctor's office, waiting to be examined to see if I was healthy enough to spend two years in sub-Saharan Africa with the Peace Corps in November and there was a video tape playing in the waiting room so that us patients wouldn't get bored. It was Lindsay Lohan, starring in "Mean Girls".

Here's the plot: Lindsay's sidekick was trying to keep some bitchy preppy cheerleader type and her evil gang of high school popular-girl-wannabees from ruining Lindsay's life. "To stop a dictator," said the sidekick, "you gotta take away his resources." Hollywood does it again! Pearls of wisdom have once again dropped from the silver screen -- right into my lap!

Americans also have a bitchy spoiled preppy cheerleader type and an evil gang of popular-girl-wannabees trying to ruin OUR lives. That description fits the Bush bureaucracy perfectly! So. Let's take away George Bush's resources too.

Hell, let's follow Grover Norquist's advice and "drown it in the bathtub."

Where would Bush be if we took away his Air Force One? "No more Air Force One for you, buddy. You gotta be ELECTED to fly around on Air Force One." Ever seen a grown man cry?

Let's take away Camp David. "No more summer camp for you, kid. You've been an evil dictator long enough." And let's stop giving Bush 400 billion dollars a year in pocket money to spend at the dictator mall. Of course he'll throw a tantrum but so what.

I'd like to see his face when we take away the CIA. And no more war toys either. No more blowing up people -- not even frogs.

Let's boycott George's corporate donors and strip him of Diebold and take away his limos, his head chef and his key to the Lincoln Bedroom. Let's make him live like the rest of us. Make him get a real job. Make him abide by the rules. If anyone else had murdered over 200,000 people in cold blood, they would have had to go to jail. Why make an exception for him? Let's throw him in jail for war crimes and let him live on prison food. And make that a TEXAS jail.

How can we stop this dictator? Take away his resources -- any way we can. Let's start by taking back Congress.

But why wait until November?