Friday, May 06, 2005

"Happy Birthday, Mr. President": Our George ain't no Marilyn Monroe

My friend just said, "Jane, everyone knows that the presidential election was stolen but Bush is still getting away with it. What can we do?" One thing comes immediately to mind. LET'S STOP CALLING HIM "MR. PRESIDENT"!

Can you imagine Marilyn Monroe singing, "Happy birthday, Mr. President" to GWB? Absolutely not! Maybe Tony Blair or Jeff Gannon might want to sing it to him but that's another story. Maybe electronic voting machine executives might want to sing it but that's another story too. Maybe the Supreme Court justices would sing it. Or the weapons industry.

But the millions and millions of Americans who have lost their jobs, their homes, their freedom and their lives because of "Mr. President" -- they would definitely NOT be interested.

Can you imagine your child's teacher volunteering to sing "Happy Birthday, Mr. President" to George Bush? Or your local union members? Or your doctor? Or the businesses in your home town that just went bankrupt because of preferential treatment for Enron or General Electric or Walmart? What about your neighbor who got his foot blown off in Iraq while searching for weapons of mass destruction that Bush KNEW were never there?

I'm willing to bet that even those "turn the other cheek" Christians left among us who still believe in the Ten Commandments ("Thou shalt not commit adultery, thou shalt not lie and thou shalt not kill") would instantly develop laryngitis at the thought.

Who will sing "Happy Birthday, Mr. President" to our Georgie next July? I'll tell you who -- the same people who got invited to his inaugural ball. The multi-billionaires. Not you and me. No gold-edged engraved invitations for us. But that's okay. We're too busy to RSVP -- too busy looking for our next job, searching for cheaper gas prices and worrying about our sons and daughters getting blown up over in Occupied Iraq.

But there is something that we CAN do.

Every time we see a newspaper or a TV show refer to George Bush as "The President" -- well. Let them know. He's not OUR President. Even KPFA, the local progressive radio station, still calls Bush "The President". You gotta be ELECTED to be called that. From now on, let's call him simply The President [sic].

It's time to give GWB the cold shoulder, the snub, the infamous Cut Direct. We want to sing "Happy Birthday" to a REAL President, not some hot-wired joke. Where is John F. Kennedy when we need him? Where is Marilyn Monroe?

PS: Bush CAN'T be Marilyn Monroe. She is rumored to have slept with a president. Bush can't make that claim.

PPS: Can male prostitute Jeff Gannon make that claim? According to the Secret Service, he can. Gannon has spent the night at the White House up to EIGHTEEN times recently. Now, why would he want to do that? According to the Voice of the White House, if Gannon were having a tryst with just any White House employee, they could simply go to a motel after hours -- unless of course this White House Person couldn't leave the building due to security.... But who among the many White House employees would fit THAT description? Hint: It ain't John Kerry or Al Gore!