Thursday, July 02, 2009

Why Obama needs to visit North Korea: Mass Games and nuclear weapons!

Back during the Korean War in the 1950s, the entire city of Pyongyang was flattened by American bombers. An entire city, with a population of approximately 200,000 people, was destroyed by over 428,000 American bombs -- that's approximately 2.14 (500-pound) bombs per person. That's a lot of bombs! No wonder North Korea is still paranoid and pissed off at the US. Sure, this holocaust did offer Pyongyang a whole new city-planning opportunity but still.... How would you feel if Manhattan had been destroyed to make room for new state-of-the-art Stalinist housing blocks?

Twelve percent of the population of North Korea was annihilated during the Korean War.

But that was in the past.

As Eckhart Tolle is always fond of saying, "You gotta forget about the past and move on to the present." You lost 12% of your population? Get over it, North Korea! But old animosities die hard. Just look at the United States for example. America destroyed a hecka lot of Iraq and Afghanistan because Bush was pissed off after he failed to prevent 9-11. And, almost a decade later, we are STILL slogging away in Iraq and Afghanistan, unable to let go of Bush's paranoid grudge. "Start living in the NOW, America!" Tolle would not be best-pleased.

Yes, it's time for both America and North Korea to move on. Kim Jong Il needs to go online to Amazon, order a Korean-language version of "The Power of Now," read it, take notes, and let 1952 slide. And Obama? The same goes for him too. Barack, just pop down to the Library of Congress and check out the book. Let's live in the moment here, folks.

And what do we know about "Now," this point in time in both North Korea and America? We know that:

North Korea has a nuclear bomb.

North Korea has boats floating in international waters off the coast of China.

China is not going to let North Korea do anything stupid.

North Korea isn't going to do anything stupid because it doesn't want Pyongyang flattened again.

Obama likes to travel around to foreign countries that have ISSUES.

North Korea is a foreign country that has lots of ISSUES.

North Korea also has something called the "Mass Games". Mass games are wonderful. Mass games are amazing. Imagine the second-largest stadium in the world filled with 100,000 people all doing synchronized dancing and card tricks. It's awesome! I've been there. I have the photographs to prove it.

Obama could go to North Korea in August or September, see the Mass Games and chat with Kill Jong Il. They could both work on their ISSUES together, forget about the past -- and start living in the Now.

Go for it, guys.
PS: To read my full report on North Korea, "From Axis of Evil to Hot New Tourist Destination," click here: