Thursday, July 30, 2009

Obama should invite Gates' neighbor for beer at the White House too

I just want to make one last point about the Henry Gates incident at Harvard before letting the matter drop. Why wasn't Lucia Whalen, the neighbor who called the police on Gates, invited to the White House for beer too? Then she would actually get a chance to meet her neighbor.

How long had Whalen lived in the neighborhood before this incident occurred? And how long had Gates lived in the neighborhood too? How come they had never met each other before this? And how come I've never been invited to the White House for a beer either? I've called the police on MY neighbor -- lots of times. So why aren't I getting a beer too?

At least I know what my neighbor looks like. That fact alone should entitle me to two beers?

Nobody in America seems to know what their neighbors look like any more. That's just sad. When the SWAT team hauled my neighbor's house-guest out of her apartment stark naked a few years ago, I still was able to recognize my neighbor -- even through the tear gas! I live in an old-fashioned town. People here know one another. All of America used to be friendly like that.

Which brings up the subject of fishing. Another one of my neighbors whom I know very well is an uber-Republican type. He listens to Limbaugh, watches Fox News, hangs on Palin's every word, the whole nine yards. And he's fun to argue with. "Democrats give people fishes." he's always telling me. "But Republicans SHOW them how to fish." Nah. Republicans steal peoples' fishing poles, steal their fish, steal their bait, don't teach them nothing and then dry up their rivers -- and still somehow manage to get the people they stole from to actually thank them for stealing their stuff.

But even though my card-carrying Republican neighbor and I disagree on almost everything, I'm still pretty sure that I would be able to actually recognize him if he was standing on his front porch -- even in broad daylight, even at 12:44 in the afternoon. That alone should entitle me to THREE beers at the White House.