Thursday, October 21, 2004

Prediction: When Bush loses there will be MAJOR document shredding at the White House

How do you delete a hard drive? Karl Rove had better find out fast!

He should call up Richard Nixon's secretary and ask her how to erase audiotapes too. "You just accidentally hit the erase button with your knee."

When George Bush becomes a lame duck, the only sound you will hear in the West Wing will be the whir of the document shredding machine.

Lists of people who made illegal campaign contributions? Gone.

E-mail wisecracks about the gullibility of right-wing Christians and bad Jesus jokes? "How does Jesus bite his nails...." Deleted.

Taped conversations from the Oval Office? Plans for dirty tricks? "We gotta have a new Pearl Harbor. How does the autumn of 2001 in New York City sound to you?" And "Let's see -- we could run a smear campaign on Dan or Barbra. Nah, we did that before. How about the Pope? Does he have a wife? We could claim that he's a homo...." And "Did we con those buffoons who actually think that a fetus is a baby or what?" And "Outsourcing? Union-busting? How can we get Americans to work for two dollars an hour?" Two dollars a DAY was going to be their optimum goal.

More juicy tapes for the dust bin: "Put that idiot Sharon on the phone! Tell him to stir up more Arabs! Dammit, we aren't here to pamper rugheads. We are here to sell helicopters!" And "Get me those stupid bitches at Concerned Women of America. I need them to do another hatchet job on mothers."

When George Bush is defeated in November, whole warehouses of "Presidential Papers" will suddenly disappear. That paper mache Thanksgiving turkey that Dubya was planning to serve to the guys in Iraq again this year? Tossed -- along with that old "Mission Accomplished" banner. Even the document proving that Laura Bush's chocolate chip cookie recipe was plagiarized from Betty Crocker will be zapped.

CD-ROMS containing evidence of links between Bush and Al Qaeda? Rumsfeld's prison manual for Abu Ghraib? What really happened in Guantanamo? Cheney's under-the-table pipeline to Halliburton? Which five-star hotel in Houston bin Ladin is hiding in? Who now owns our national forests? The kickback records from Enron? The secret lists of how many GIs were REALLY wounded in Iraq? Who actually forged the Niger yellowcake documents? The true CIA WMD reports? Who really outed Valerie Plame? Who now has their hands on the missing Iraq oil billions? Why there is water in our troops' gasoline? The real air safety report from the Wellstone crash? The home movie of Scalia duck hunting with Cheney right before Bush v. Gore was decided? The Diebold reports?

Eeeuuuu. What's that? "How to simulate a flu vaccine shortage." And "How can we turn Abu Mussab al-Zarqawi, a man allegedly dead since March 2004, into the next Hallowe'en terrorist bin Ladin?"

After the 2004 election, there will be a myriad of "sucker lists" and "bagmen lists" and "dirty tricks lists" and "dirty laundry lists" to wash and sort and destroy. Then there's good old John Ashcroft and his endless lists of personal dossiers -- one for every man, woman and child in America. That's a hecka lot of shredding!

George and Rummie and Condie and Karl will have a LOT of shredding to do between November and January.

There is something that the GWB gang plans to save and take good care of, however -- the various lists of all their Swiss bank accounts.


Contaminated fuel:

William Rivers Pitt: "Everyone is insurgent in Iraq"

From Ed: Bush is supposed to protect us from bio-terrorism? He can't even keep us in flu shots!

From Jude: Tom Delay doesn't have to wait until after the election to start shredding documents. He's just been subpoenaed: Let's subpoena Bush too.

From CLG News: It's not nice to hoodwink the Pope!

Somehow our George has gotten the idea in his head that Reagan's torture and death squad policies in El Salvador and Guatamala actually WORKED -- not to mention the Johnson/Nixon torture and death squad policies in Southeast Asia. Bush thinks that we should continue these policies in the Middle East too. Yeah, right. South America -- and Southeast Asia too -- now either hate us or ignore us. And that will be what the Middle East will be like in ten years too -- if we are lucky.

Is George Bush the Anti-Christ? Seems to me that God could come up with a better Anti-Christ than him. If he is the Anti-Christ, Dubya is the most shabby and incompetent AC we ever had! Can you imagine an Anti-Christ who had to wear a wire at the debates because he couldn't even remember his lines? We deserve a better Anti-Christ than that! You could buy a better Anti-Christ than that at Wal-Mart. Humph.