Friday, February 06, 2004

Ladies Beware: George Bush says "I love you" but he only wants to get into our pants!

By Jane Stillwater

Ladies, beware. George Bush knows what we want to hear. His eyes brim with sincerity as he murmurs the "L" word to us and opens up his heart. During his recent State of the Union message, he was like some late-night Lothario at a singles bar, desperately trying to get laid.

You take him home with you. And he turns out to be Ted Bundy.

"I'll give you schools!" says Bush. I want schools.

"I'll give you democracy in Iraq, good medicine and make you safe," he says. I wanna be safe!

And the next morning, we wake up and find that he's gone -- and so is the television set, the VCR, the Toyota, the cat and our best friend Suzie. We're pregnant, have an STD and three of our fingers are missing.

Ladies, beware. George Bush is the man our mothers warned us about.

The Dating Game: America, find your perfect mate! Click here: AOL Presidential Match Main

Molly Ivins: Bank statement for the gullible:

Who Wants to be America's Next Top President: Maybe America is buying the Bush product because he wears makeup well and, just before the State of the Union Address, he did a FABULOUS runway strut!

Imagine a world where EVERY child is wanted, nurtured, protected and loved: World Peace in one generation!