Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Wal-Mart has sucessfully invaded China: They shoulda had Wal-Mart invade Iraq too!

All that recent talk from Chinese generals threatening nuclear retaliation if the U.S. were to attack China because of Taiwan? Well. That's not going to happen. Why not? Wal-Mart has already attacked China -- and won!

According to my friend Joe Thompson, "There will be no nuclear war with China. Wal-Mart, who uses 3,000 factories in China -- while putting Americans out of work and reaping huge profits -- won't allow that to happen."

Ah. So Wal-Mart has already invaded China. Which leads to my next question. Why didn't we just send Sam's Club over to Iraq instead of buying all that high-priced attack gear that obviously didn't work? Imagine what us taxpayers could have saved if we had just sent in Wal-Mart instead of spending big bucks on radioactive weaponry, Halliburton, dominatrix and plastic turkeys.


How dumb can Karl Rove and Donald Rumsfeld be? They just squandered 200 billion dollars in taxpayers' money when they just coulda sent over Wal-Mart and McDonalds instead.

PS: Unfortunately, Wal-Mart has conquered America too -- soundly defeating our workers and unions without any opposition at all except for some heroic guerrilla resistance from the Teamsters and SEIU. But the recent Chinese workers' strikes and riots are indicating that Wal-Mart may soon be facing insurgents in China too....