Then there were none: Here's a REALLY juicy Kennedy conspiracy theory!

What if someone told us that the Bush family and their sleazy "men in black" friends were behind the assassination of JFK? Everyone would say, "Well, duh." Or if someone said that these guys were responsible for the assassination of Robert Kennedy? "Yawn. What else is new."

But what if someone told you that the Bush mafia were also behind an attempted assassination of Teddy Kennedy? That's new.

What if Teddy's 1969 Chappaquiddick disaster wasn't just a stupid drunken spree with tragic results after all but a blatant assassination attempt -- that failed?

I just got an e-mail from my friend Patrick stating that the Teddy Kennedy/Chappaquiddick incident might have been planned by the same people who done in JFK and RFK. Wow!

"Most likely the Chappaquiddick incident was intended as a frame-up," said Patrick. "It was a more plausible alternative to a third Kennedy brother assassination (which might have raised eyebrows). In that respect, it did not fail. Dirtying Teddy's reputation at Chappaquiddick, along with likely threats that more could come, served to effectively remove him as the one presidential candidate who would re-open the Dallas investigation."

For those of you who remembered the Chappaquiddick scandal, we were all SO disappointed that this handsome young Senator from Massachusetts could get all liquored up, drive off a bridge and cause the death of Mary Jo -- I can't believe I forgot her last name. It was a household word in every newspaper in the country for over a year. It was like the O.J. Simpson/Michael Jackson trial rolled up into one and it went on and on and on....

Is old age stealing my memory? Nah. I never had one to begin with.

Meanwhile, back at the bridge: There is one piece missing in Patrick's theory: How would the Bad Guys know that Mary Jo would die and that Teddy would swim free of the wreck? They couldn't have known that. Nope, it had to be that they were out to kill yet another popular young Kennedy presidential candidate -- only this time to make it look like an accident.

Why am I thinking this? Maybe our Ted just got drunk, was speeding too fast and went off the bridge? Well sure, Teddy was a bit of a playboy. But still. While making the 90-degree turn onto the road to the bridge, even he had to slow down. If he hadn't, he wouldn't have been able to make the turn and the headlines would have read, "Teddy Kennedy drives into a field" instead.

So. How did the Bad Guys arrange the accident? Was a surveillance team watching for an opportunity? Did an infiltrator encourage Teddy to drive around the island that night? A sabotaged tire? An object placed in the road? A slow leak of brake fluid? Or did they just run him off the road like they did with Karen Silkwood? You gotta remember that this happened long before there were more subtle inventions like laser beams and anthrax.

Back in the day before we started being more aware of political assassinations -- before they became the Central Intelligence Agency's official policy -- a staged accident would have been SO easy to do, especially if you were, like George Bush Sr, head of the CIA and knew all that James Bond stuff about fixing cars and fixing drinks. Maybe the assassins lucked out that Teddy went off the bridge. Maybe they were just hoping that he and Mary Jo would just run into a tree.

"But," you might say, "if all this is true, why hasn't Teddy spoken out?" If you had just had two of your brothers brutally murdered and an attempt had just been made on your life, what would you have done?

OMG, don't you just love it? Isn't this just the JUICIEST conspiracy theory yet?

PS: How come when Bush Republicans come up with some absolute whoppers -- like the existence of WMDs in Iraq or that there were no fighter jets available to protect America on 9-11 because they were ALL in Greenland playing war games or that corrupt liberals are out to get poor sweet honest Tom DeLay or that it's okay to have Jeff Gannon, a known male prostitute, spend 18 nights at the White House -- how come these are called facts? But when I come up with some really good stuff, it's called a conspiracy theory? That's not fair!

Bush's stuff stinks. My stuff is HOT.

PPS: My friend Joe Thompson just reminded me about our beloved John-John Kennedy too. "Given the circumstances and the popularity of all mentioned, I would say the Bush gang was behind it all without even talking to Patrick. They are a ruthless people with a ruthless agenda. The Kennedys had to be stopped if the Bushes were to move ahead. If John Jr. were alive today, there would not be a Lunatic running this country." Good grief! I had forgotten about John-John. And Senator Carnahan. And Paul Wellstone. And the postal workers who died of weapons-grade anthrax. And all those American heroes who died needlessly on 9-11 and in Iraq so that Bush Republicans could have power over me and you....

What to do about all this mess? Let's do what they just did in Bolivia. Let's confiscate all the blood money that the Bush mafia has stolen from us and then demand a new and HONEST president. My friend Jonathan just suggested Rep. John Conyers for the position. Works for me. Then put someone with integrity like Senator Boxer or Rep. Dennis Kucinich in as Veep and America will finally be good to go. Or perhaps Robert F. Kennedy Jr.

Bottom line: For a long time -- from the Kennedys through the Clintons and the anthrax -- Bush Republicans are sending out a message. "Dare to oppose us? You're next." It's time for Americans to start to stand up to that!