"Screw those murdering Zionists!" I can now safely say that because...
The annual Jewish High Holy Days have finally arrived. Rosh
Hashanah is the Jewish New Year and Yom Kippur is the sacred Day of
Atonement. These are exciting times -- traditions that date back
thousands of years. So. I wanted to stand in solidarity with all those
brave Jews who resent that their holy religion has been hijacked by a
bunch of murderous thugs now committing genocide on thousands of babies
in Gaza. I wanted to go to a synagogue and attend High Holy Day
services in honor of all these brave Jews who still believe in the Ten
Commandments.
"Do you think it would be okay to wear my keffiyeh to the Yom Kippur
services?" I asked one of my Jewish friends. Probably not. Then I
showed her a photograph of my grandfather. "He looks sort of Jewish,
don't you think?" Hmmm. Plus my older sister looks like an ugly version of Anne Frank. So I did some rudimentary family-tree research
and it turns out that he actually was Jewish. Hey, I'm Jewish too!
Do you know what that means? It means that I can call out all
those bloody Zionist bastards like Bibi the Butcher Netanyahu without
ever getting accused of being antisemitic!
Turns out that when my grandfather's parents came over from Germany
and settled in rural Oklahoma, it was considered totally un-cool to be
Jewish so they never told anyone that they were. Sad but true. And
then my grandfather married my grandmother who was also busy denying
that she was part Cherokee. So everyone in my family tree just kept
their mouths shut.
Until now.
So.
Now I can legally shout "Screw those Zionist child-killers!" from
the rooftops without having to worry that I am being a bigot or about
going to jail for telling the truth. How cool is that! I love being a
Jew!
PS:
"But Judaism follows a matriarchal lineage," you might say, "so if you
claim to be Jewish through your grandfather's line, that doesn't
count." Yeah it does. DNA never lies. Plus if the Torah's Adam and
Eve story is correct, then all of us humans are Jewish -- and all of us qualify to move to the Holy Land!
Resources:
The
Battle of Gold is being lost by Zionists and Americans because Hamas
just cost them almost one hundred billion dollars? Here's an
interesting AI production about that: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ih2VF9MCsT0
And the Electronic Intifada breaks our hearts once again: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XUSCZiTukyA
And dthe bloody slaughter in Ukra$ne and Russia continue (2,128th day): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0SuB-Zx8Ivs
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