Friday, January 22, 2010

Madam Jane predicts: It's time to leave....

Last night, the wise and all-knowing Madam Jane stayed up until 5:00 am in the morning playing computer solitaire. "What in the freak did you do that for?" I asked her. "You know that your brain is gonna be all wrecked and worthless the next day." But Madam Jane just shrugged.

"After having played computer solitaire for seven or eight hours straight, in that spooky twilight time just before dawn, my brain goes into a weird hazy fugue state and I start to see through the veil that stands between us mere mortals and The Future -- as if through a glass darkly," she replied. Yeah right.

"And what I am seeing now is not good. With this new neo-con 'Massachusetts Miracle' election victory brought to us courtesy of Diebold, plus the Supreme Court decision to open the floodgates of lobby money available to Congress and the foreboding return of Karl Rove and his boys, I predict that the average American is gonna be even more screwed over in the future than he or she already is now." But are you sure that Diebold stole the election??? Never mind. Nobody seems to even care anyway -- least of all the losing Dems.

"Between Diebold Republicans owning most our voting machines and most of our Supreme Court," the Madam glumly continued, "plus 65% of our nation's wealth being spent on guns that kill people for fun and profit, the economy tanking into the pockets of the bankers, all those sweetness-and-light lies about how wonderful neo-cons are that are being spewed out at us by Fox News and corporatist-shill talk-show hosts braying 24-7 that all our problems are being caused by emasculated sissies who still believe in justice, honesty, fair play and kindness, we're pretty much all gonna be doomed fairly soon."

Guess what, Madam Jane? I didn't have to stay up to 5:00 am numbing my brain with computer solitaire to be able to tell you that! Americans seem to love having their pockets picked by rich guys in Washington and their homes foreclosed on by Wall-Street-sponsored "populists". It's like Ron White the comedian says. "There ain't no cure for stupid."

Of course it's easy for almost anyone -- even those born without The Sight -- to see all of America's problems. "But just exactly what, Madam Jane, do you suggest that we DO about all this? Did you see any rays of hope or any plans of action at all while gazing into your new computer-solitaire-generated crystal ball?" Did you?

Then M.J. adjusted her turban and glared at me with those flaming-hot all-knowing deep gypsy eyes. Then she sighed. "As a matter of fact I did. I saw it all. And there's no hope left. And it's time to get out." Fine. But where, exactly, are we all supposed to go to? The neo-cons' One World Order globalized march to the ends of the earth has pretty much taken over the entire planet. Between the World Bank, the IMF, the Pentagon's 500-odd bases in almost every country in the world, the corporatists' and oil companies' stranglehold on most natural resources, the decay of the dollar everywhere, the CIA-sponsored covert ops hovering around on almost every street corner from Tasmania to Greenland and whatever all else is going on, just exactly where are we supposed to be going to get away from this mess? The neo-cons have pretty much pooped in the nest everywhere."

"Well, I'm thinking that going to the moon would be a rather nice change of pace...."

Or you could take the easy way out like most Americans seem to be doing -- put your head in the sand, do nothing at all and kill time shopping while you're waiting around to die.

PS: Me and my family went off in search of the illusive Madam Jane but couldn't find her. We looked all over the Lawrence Hall of Science of course -- what could be more scientific than a psychic mind-reader! And here's the video to prove it:

PPS: When my friends David and Pia visited me from Italy this week, we all went out and treated ourselves to a "Weekday Combination Breakfast" at the Homemade Cafe. "You know, I like reading articles in the left-wing blogosphere most of the time but one thing I hate is that a lot of the commentators seem so pessimistic," David said. Yeah, well. There is SO much to be pessimistic about these days.

"Still and all," David continued, "there does seem to be a ground surge of people throughout the world who are sincerely working toward getting rid of our old out-dated caveman mentality in favor of more humane and positive thinking and action." Let us hope!

Right now I'm busy reading the Dalai Lama's new book, "Becoming Enlightened," and the D.L. says that the only way to alleviate our own individual suffering is to become Enlightened (No, sorry, shopping won't cut it, you'll be stylishly dressed but still be in pain). And the ONLY way to become enlightened is to do good deeds. Nothing else makes the grade. Whether it's getting a single-payer healthcare bill finally passed and thus saving 45,000 American lives a year or helping the people of Haiti recover or teaching children to read or just giving an occasional dollar to that homeless guy who is hunkered down out in the rain, you too will be well on your way to becoming enlightened and saving yourself from a world of hurt.

"But that indicates that you are being compassionate for selfish reasons only," you might say. Sure. Whatever. Whatever it takes to finally get the human race to finally start to evolve into something bigger and better than just glorified cavemen beating each other to death head with nuclear-warhead sticks. And maybe then I can finally stop being so pessimistic.

And maybe then our poor sweet Madam Jane can safely give up playing computer solitaire all night.


To purchase Katie Miranda's beautiful jewelry that integrates pre-1949 Palestine coins into her designs, click here: "The items for sale here are a unique way to express your solidarity and support; a percentage of each purchase goes to a university scholarship fund for young people in the city of al Khalil (Hebron) in Palestine."