Thursday, November 20, 2008

Advice to Obama: "The New Adventures of the Old New Deal"

(Photos are of me and my daughter Ashley trying to get a sneak preview of future life on the mean streets -- and my granddaughter Mena living out of her car)

I've said it before and I'll say it again -- this bailout crap is truly a bad idea.

With housing foreclosures up 25%, bank failures a common occurrence, millions of Americans out of work and the nation's unemployment rate hovering around 9%, then it's obvious that our economy is in trouble and that something needs to be done ASAP to get the economy back on track. But why resort to giving billions of dollars to the very same people who have already proved themselves to be either totally shifty or totally inept? Why waste our time throwing good money after bad?

Instead of betting all our savings on a horse that has a track record of coming in last, let's place our bets on a winner this time. Let's place our bets on a cure for Depression that has already PROVEN to be a winner.

I just got an e-mail from my friend Karen that read, "Obama should seriously consider resurrecting Franklin Roosevelt's New Deal from the 1930s. It worked back then. It will work again now."

That sounds good to me. But then what do I know about the New Deal? I hadn't even been born yet back when FDR's horse won its race.

"What's there to know?" replied Karen. "You stimulate industry by giving people jobs. You stop giving money away to fat-cats and give it to the American people instead. It's called TRICKLE UP!" Makes sense to me. And it's our money, not theirs. Plus "Trickle Down" didn't work.

President-elect Obama, here's some free advice from me: What worked for FDR will work for you too. Step up to the plate. Become the next FDR. Get your picture on the freaking dime. Go for it. And if you have any questions, I'd be more than willing to be your Treasury Secretary. I got great qualifications. I know how to make an eagle scream -- a concept that seems to be currently eluding most people in Washington.

PS: My friend Stewart just e-mailed me from a Flying J truck stop in Utah, complaining about how Utah is a Red state and how everyone there is all bitching and moaning about government interference in peoples' lives but that they don't practice what they preach.

"In Utah, all the bars are clubs and you have to join the club in order to have a drink," wrote Stew. "So I said to the bartender, 'This is a conservative state? I thought you clowns wanted government off our backs -- and yet every bar in your state has government all over your backs with this private club bull[dookie].' The bartender just smiled, seeing the hypocrisy. Hell, this country was founded in bars and taverns! The rebels in Lexington were drunk, that's why they were firing at the Red Coats. Hypocricity here is totally out of control. Just look at which states are raking in the most federal money? Nearly all Red! Then look at which states are paying for the pork -- nearly all Blue. Time for these Reds to start practicing what they preach."

Okay. So the Red states don't want government on our backs? Then why did they support George W. Bush, the biggest corporate socialist to steal the White House in history! And why did Utah Mormons just spend 20 million dollars to try to promote government interference with marriage? And why is our government now bailing out Wall Street? That's TOTAL government interference. And now even I am busy clambering my heart out for government interference too -- but only in situations where it actually benefits all Americans across the board, not just the ones who can afford to produce the most scary TV commercials or hire the most exclusive PACs.

President-elect Obama, I want to see more episodes of "The New Adventures of the Old New Deal"!