Poking sticks at the tiger: Why Muslim-baiting is NOT a good idea

The guy down the street from me has a very nasty temper. He belongs to a gang. He has a tattoo. He carries a knife. When he walks down the street, people avoid him. They leave him alone. He leaves them alone. This is a good idea.

There is a tiger in the Oakland Zoo who does not suffer fools gladly. If you put your arm in his cage, he would chew it off. I don't put my hand in his cage. This works out well for me. This works out well for the tiger.

Here's another example. Don't mess with hornets' nests, coiled rattle snakes, desperate housewives or Tony Soprano. And don't keep picking the scab off a wound.

People with any sense at all know this. Yet in the past 50 years, American leaders have gone out of their way to mess with the Muslims of the Middle East. That is just plain foolish. Jeez Louise. We all watched "Lawrence of Arabia". We KNOW that Muslims are fierce fighters who will die for their land and their ideals if they are invaded and are very big on holding a grudge.

Poking them with sticks is one of the most stupid things anyone can do.

Am I calling our "leaders" stupid? Guess.

Despite their fierce reputation and temper, Muslims are basically patient. When something bothers Muslims, at first they just say, "Inshallah" -- it is God's will. It takes a lot to anger a Muslim. But 50 years of watching their women and children die has finally gotten to them. And they, like tigers that have been mis-treated too often, are finally pissed off!

If only we could go back to 1945, BEFORE American-funded Zionist terrorists blew up the King David Hotel and seized Palestine.

If only we could go back to 1952, BEFORE Eisenhower gave the order to overthrow the democratci republic of Iran.

If only we could go back to 1978, BEFORE the CIA filled Afghanistan with land mines and armed all the drug dealers and warlords. And Osama bin Ladin too.

If only we could go back to 1979, BEFORE Reagan and Rumsfeld armed Saddam Hussein and turned him loose on his fellow Arabs like a fox in the hen house.

If only we could go back to 1990, BEFORE Bush Senior gave Hussein the green light to seize the Kuwaiti oil fields.

If only we could go back to 2000, BEFORE the idiots in Washington dreamed up Shock and Awe.

If only we could go back to BEFORE SEPTEMBER 11, 2001, before the intifadas, before Madrid and London, before the insurgence -- before the tiger started to strike back. But we can't go back. We can only go forward -- and keep making all the same old stupid mistakes....

Or our so-called leaders could finally give up their fascination with tormenting tigers, stop killing Islamic women and children and leave the Muslims alone.

PS: When I went to confession last month and told my priest that I had become a Muslim, he was NOT a happy camper. "I don't think that is allowable," he said.

Why not?

Religions are the crowning glory of human evolution. Buddhism is the bed-rock of wisdom. And I also want to become a Jew. As John Gray, the author of "Children are from Heaven," kindly instructed us befuddled parents, "It's okay to want more."

PPS: Wanna buy a T-shirt from my fabulous "Summer 2005 World Tour of San Francisco Bay Area Mosques"? So far, I've been to three mosques in Oakland, One mosque in Hayward and a Muslim trance-dancing group in Berkeley. Or you could take a pass on my T-shirts and go on your own world tour.

Before people go bad-mouthing Muslims and executing and torturing them too, it would be a good idea to get to know a few. The initial reason I wanted to become a Muslim was to piss off George Bush but now I find that being a Muslim suits me -- and I like the people too. The Muslims I have met so far on my tour have been very spiritual people -- and also very open and friendly. Plus the Madison Street mosque in Oakland serves a wonderful free lunch.

Please stop killing Muslims. And please stop killing Christians, Jews, Buddhists and Hindus too. Just be glad that all of us have faith in a just and loving God and leave it at that. And EVERYONE needs to remember one important item common to all genuine religions: "Thou shalt not kill."

PPPS (my last one, honest!): My friend MA just sent me an e-mail about Army Staff Sgt. Dale L. Horn, who has just been made an honorary sheik in Iraq. Why? Because he brought water, electricity and education to the local village. They LOVE him. And nobody tries to kill him. They even gave him five (5) sheep!

If Congress spent our money on restoring electricity, water, education (and sheep) to Iraq instead of just making Bush's profiteering cronies wealthy, all would be well in Iraq and our troops could come back home to defend America like they are supposed to instead of tormenting civilians (and tigers) half-way around the world.