Tuesday, September 10, 2013


















What if YOU spent 2/3 of your salary on guns?

          Imagine that you get up every morning, go off to work, work your butt off all week and then wait in happy anticipation for your paycheck on Friday.  And then it arrives.  But instead of getting the full amount that you'd been eagerly expecting, you only get one-third of it.  "Yikes!" you exclaim in dismay.  "What happened to the rest of it!"

     "But don't you remember," says your company's payroll clerk with a yawn, having heard all this stuff before from other employees time and again, "that you spent all the rest of your money on guns."  Guns?  I bought guns?  "Sure you did." 

      "But what am I going to do about my rent money and my cable bill and paying off student loans and my trips to the mall and, er, not to mention food?"

      "Sorry, guy, but our records show that for the past 60 years, you have definitely -- and apparently voluntarily -- spent at least two-thirds of your income on guns."  60 years?  The last whole freaking 60 years?  I did?  http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/tue-september-10-2013/s-s--puf-n-stuff

     "But how come I've never noticed it before?"

      If something like this has just happened to you, you might justifiably still be in shock.  But here's some good news.  You are not alone!  Every single other citizen in America right now is in your exact same boat.  For approximately the last 60 years, two-thirds of America's national hard-earned income has been spent exclusively on guns.  Two-thirds of all our taxes.  And two-thirds of all America's credit-card debts too.  http://www.oneminuteforpeace.org/budget

    "But if I had spent all that money on guns for all those years, then where are they?" you might also ask.  Good question.  For all the trillions of dollars that we Americans have spent on guns in the last 60 years, you would think that every single one of us would have at least one or two Glocks, a couple of semi-automatics or at least even a Deringer stashed in the back of our closets or under our beds, right? 

     Then you would be wrong.  We've got nothing to show for our rash 60-year spending spree except for a couple of million corpses, a goodly part of which are women and children.  And who wants a pile of dead babies stinking up the house!  http://www.truth-out.org/buzzflash/commentary/item/18182-republicans-are-torn-between-their-racist-hatred-of-obama-and-eternal-love-of-bombing-the-crap-out-of-the-middle-east

PS:  Actually, the annual American tax budget allotment for guns is only 57% -- that we know of.  But who the freak even knows how much we also spend on black budgets and covert ops and foreign rendition prisions and spying on evil-doers like you and me http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/3.11/patton_pr.html

PPS:  On September 18, I'm leaving for Albany, NY to attend a murder-mystery writers and readers convention there  http://bcon2013.com/

     This trip won't be as exciting or exotic as going to, say, Afghanistan or Iran or North Korea again, but it's all I can afford right now -- plus never forget that it is America that is the source of almost all war in the world today and therefore, if you are a war correspondent, it is always best to remember the most important crime novel assumption of all:  When looking for a killer, always look close to home first http://readersupportednews.org/opinion2/436-2nd-amendment-rights/19283-focus-why-is-it-easier-to-get-an-assault-weapon-than-to-vote.

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Advertizements for myself: In these hard times of brutal (and illegal) corporatist ball-busting socialism-for-the-rich-only, I am doing whatever I can to make a spare dollar. Here are some of my current alternate-economy schemes that never seem to work -- but I keep hoping!
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If anyone ever wants to hire me on as a travel writer (or war correspondent), "Have laptop, will travel!"



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Need someone to help you throw out stuff? I'm really good at deciding what needs to be thrown out (starting with all those corporate-owned bums in Washington!)

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Then I'm your man! I can portray all kinds of older women -- from judges, business execs and other insane zombies to bag ladies, cancer patients, kindly grandmothers and dying patients in rest homes. I've played them all. So send me a script and let's do this. Hollywood, here we come! Here's my reel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C91uEYjLUXA

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Are you a plaintiffs' attorney who is tired of writing those pesky personal injury settlement briefs all the time? No problem! I can write them for you. Years of experience. And pay me only if you win the case.
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I recently got my Notary Public commission!

Need a Notary Public? Have seal, will travel. E-mail me at jpstillwater@yahoo.com and I'll stamp your document, make it official and only charge $10. Of course if you live outside of Berkeley, I may have to charge travel expenses -- but am well worth it!

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Want something good to read? Buy my book! "Bring Your Own Flak Jacket: Helpful Tips for Touring Today's Middle East," available at Amazon and Barnes & Noble. http://www.amazon.com/Bring-Your-Own-Flak-Jacket/dp/0978615719/ref=cm_pdp_rev_itm_title_1. It's like if Jack Kerouac, Mark Twain and/or Janet Evanovich went to war.

I also wrote a book about going on Hajj (also included as a chapter in "Bring Your Own Flak Jacket," but this book is cheaper -- but it's worth buying them both!) My book on the Hajj is so outstanding that I bet even Christian fundamentalists will love it! Please buy it here: http://www.amazon.com/Mecca-Hajj-Lessons-Islamic-School/dp/0978615700/ref=cm_rdp_product

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"Imagine a world where EVERY child is wanted, nurtured, protected and loved: World peace in one generation!"
You can now buy T-shirts, coffee mugs, tote bags, truckers' caps, baby gear and/or teddy bears with this logo printed on them. They make great gifts, especially for parents and teachers. To purchase, just click here:http://www.cafepress.com/StillTWaters

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTiqVCTMaMEgkTRhPenqIefocM4Ov6OwXPD0Ys-DI8GblFCdA-sjGWzIc5F64b7vCMm0iwwL2AYkD2pi9xPT6tsd4Oqgr4O6tuO3QN3cyg0YIWlUy2-3oPs07XEXssLliSwhly/s1600/IMG_0045.JPGhttps://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfaqs_lZVD9OiBwQV6_gUkgvGHjprj9K2p4tTAQ2hnwi4yQ2pcM0gQ2FqJeGDmdiSFF70_llhC2w4EczqZ17ODHpx4TdovL2YjGl57fg90f9j5BuOTf2q2Rajc7Znqi_1Ep5Is/s1600/IMG_0041.JPG
"Life is a competition. The winners are the ones who do the most good deeds."
You can also buy T-shirts, coffee mugs, tote bags, truckers' caps, baby gear and/or teddy bears with this logo printed on them. They make great gifts, especially for those of us who are still idealists in these troubled times. To purchase, just click here: http://www.cafepress.com/StillTWaters