No fun at all: Homeless in Berkeley and poor in Jakarta
My friend Gordon Lau works for a charitable foundation in Jakarta that tries to help the poorest of the poor -- and so he decided to see exactly what his clients are going through by being "Poor for a Day" himself http://www.grameenfoundation.org/
I wanna be poor for a day too -- and have just been given the perfect opportunity to do so. My housing co-op is being re-habbed and I have to be out of my apartment for three weeks while they do everything to it except install a new chimney for Santa Claus to come down.
Fifteen years ago, I started fighting like a tiger to get my co-op re-habbed because it was falling apart -- but its board of directors kept balking or even actively fighting the idea, getting so sick of me that they even threatened poor sweet me with eviction and jail if I didn't shut up.
However, some broad members finally had a change of heart and others retired, and we actually finally started getting re-hab plans made -- but even then it took us an additional five years to get the re-hab finally under way.
And now that it's here and actually happening? I think I've created a monster!
Almost everything on the property must go, from shingles to roofing to flooring to kitchen sinks. The whole place has been in complete chaos for months.
Around forty units have been re-habbed already -- and now it's my turn to put up or shut up as my own unit goes through a complete wash-rise-and-dry cycle. But although the co-op is giving me a per diem to stay somewhere else for three weeks, if I can somehow scrounge by for less than the per diem, I'll have extra money for food and/or for getting a root canal (you gotta be a member of Congress or live on Wall Street to receive federally-funded dental care these days -- so most of the rest of us are either going to have to work three jobs, win the lottery or go toothless. But I digress).
So in the interest of not going hungry and good dental hygiene, I decided to follow Gordon Lau's Jakarta example and go "Poor for a Day" too.
Let's see. First I can follow a rising trend here in Berkeley and camp out on the front steps of that abandoned building next door. That won't cost me anything. However, the current policy there seems to be, "Bring your own mattress".
Now where can I get a good meal for less than a dollar? St. Paul's AME church does a free lunch on Tuesdays. I'm in.
The rest of the day I can spend at the public library, using its computer and reading murder mysteries in the back room. Then what about dinner? You know that Chez Panisse caught on fire recently? http://www.berkeleyside.com/2013/03/08/fire-at-chez-panisse-damages-front-of-restaurant/ Maybe they would be having a fire sale? I could always swing by and see.
And then there is always dumpster-diving. Oh, and the Sweet Adeline bakery might have some leftover chocolate cream pie at the end of the day? Wistful thinking. There's never gonna be any left over. That stuff sells fast!
The South Berkeley farmers market is held on Tuesdays too. I could see what they have for cheap at the end of the day. Or up on Telegraph, at People's Park, don't they still have a soup kitchen at night? Or the Berkeley Bowl is having a big sale on Brown Cow yogurt. I could do that.
Then back to the abandoned building for the night -- or perhaps I could get a more scenic view by sheltering in place up in Tilden Park? And still have fifty cents left in my pocket at the end of the day. I could do this. Once. But every single day? No, no, no and no! I truly don't see how genuinely homeless people can do it.
"But what if it rains, Jane?" you might ask. "Or what if you get mugged, raped or killed?" Oh well. Just one less poor person and one less senior citizen on Social Security for the RepubliDems to look down their noses at and/or rob. No wonder Congress is helping seniors die off so fast -- less Social Security to pay out, so more money for Wall Street and War Street!
What makes us human? Capitalists say that it is our ability to produce profit -- at any cost. However, Jesus, the Buddha and Mohammed all agree that it is only compassion for others who are weaker than us that gives us our humanity and raises us up above the rest of the beasts.
Still and all, I will be really really really glad when I can move back into my apartment again. And if you live in the Berkeley area and need me to house-sit between now and the end of March, please let me know. I'll even try to walk your dog. Er, maybe not. Or there's always http://airbnb.com. And my wonderful son Joe's futon in his apartment in La Mission.
*********************************************************
*********************************************************
Advertizements for myself: In these hard times of brutal (and illegal) corporatist ball-busting socialism-for-the-rich-only, I am doing whatever I can to make a spare dollar. Here are some of my current alternate-economy schemes that never seem to work -- but I keep hoping!
******
What next? I'm still trying to get to Haiti ASAP but unfortunately my investigative-reporting trip has had to be postponed until the end of March. Please donate toward my trip's expenses here if you can:
https://www.wepay.com/donations/going-to-a-vodou-cave-in-haiti And if this link doesn't work, please just cut and paste. Thanks.
And if anyone ever wants to hire me on as a travel writer (or war correspondent), "Have laptop, will travel!"
******
Need someone to help you throw out stuff? I'm really good at deciding what needs to be thrown out (starting with all those corporate-owned bums in Washington!)
****
Need an actor to play an older woman in your movie? Then I'm your man! I can portray all kinds of older women -- from judges, business execs and other insane zombies to bag ladies, cancer patients, kindly grandmothers and dying patients in rest homes. I've played them all. So send me a script and let's do this. Hollywood, here we come!
****
Are you a plaintiffs' attorney who is tired of writing those pesky personal injury settlement briefs all the time? No problem! I can write them for you. Years of experience. And pay me only if you win the case.
****
I recently got my Notary Public commission!
Need a Notary Public? Have seal, will travel. E-mail me at jpstillwater@yahoo.com and I'll stamp your document, make it official and only charge $10. Of course if you live outside of Berkeley, I may have to charge travel expenses -- but am well worth it!
****
I also wrote a book about going on Hajj (also included as a chapter in "Bring Your Own Flak Jacket," but this book is cheaper -- but it's worth buying them both!) My book on the Hajj is so outstanding that I bet even Christian fundamentalists will love it! Please buy it here: http://www.amazon.com/Mecca-Hajj-Lessons-Islamic-School/dp/0978615700/ref=cm_rdp_product
****
"Imagine a world where EVERY child is wanted, nurtured, protected and loved: World peace in one generation!" You can now buy T-shirts, coffee mugs, tote bags, truckers' caps, baby gear and/or teddy bears with this logo printed on them. They make great gifts, especially for parents and teachers. To purchase, just click here: http://www.cafepress.com/StillTWaters
"Life is a competition. The winners are the ones who do the most good deeds." You can also buy T-shirts, coffee mugs, tote bags, truckers' caps, baby gear and/or teddy bears with this logo printed on them. They make great gifts, especially for those of us who are still idealists in these troubled times. To purchase, just click here: http://www.cafepress.com/StillTWaters
