Thursday, August 30, 2007

Touring an African jail: I found an empty cell here for George Bush!

“I’m only 19 years old and I’m in jail for life,” wailed a forlorn prisoner as I walked past my village’s correctional facility today. Intrigued, I stopped in to talk with the warden.

“You understand that I can’t take you back to the cells without permission from the provincial director,” said the warden, “but if you come back on Monday I’m sure you can get approved with no problem.”

“That won’t be necessary, really,” I replied, "because I only have a few questions to ask and you could probably answer them for me here and now.” Who cares if the cells are clean or dirty or what prison conditions are like. I just want to know some very basic information here. “How many prisoners does this jail hold?”

“We currently have the capacity to incarcerate 150 prisoners.”

“And how many do you have now?”

“We have 21 males and 15 females,” the warden replied. My village is not really a high crime area and most of the prisoners here are illegal aliens from nearby war-torn countries such as Zimbabwe and Nigeria.

“So you would have room for one or two more?”

“Surely. We do.” Bingo! If Congress continues to arbitrarily refuse to put Bush and Cheney in jail in America. then guess what? We can always ship them off to Africa! There’s plenty of room for them here!

PS: Recently Zimbabwe's maniac president instigated a wiretapping program that will read everyone's e-mails and listen in on their phone conversations. A bunch of heads of state from all over the world got together and screamed bloody murder about this blatant invasion of individual privacy -- but George Bush has been silent on this issue. Why? Because the maniac president of Zimbabwe copied his scandalous wiretapping program almost word for word off of the maniac president [sic] of the United States' wiretapping program.

"Oh say does that star-spangled banner yet wave, o'er the land of the free...." Nope.