Why "excavating" Al Aqsa is a bad idea: It's like "excavating" the Sistine Chapel

In the last few months, I have been totally pissed off with all those Muslims in Iraq who have been slaughtering each other wholesale. Geez Louise! Baghdad has become just like a re-run of the bad old days back in 16th-century Europe when gangs of Catholic "Christians" and gangs of Protestant "Christians" murdered, tortured and slew each other with gleeful abandon, totally forgetting what true Christianity is all about.

I have been TOTALLY disappointed with Iraqi Muslims lately. Totally. Why should I keep trying to be a good Muslim when grown men like that are setting such a bad example? I might as well be a "Christian" like that serial killer George W. Bush -- or even a pagan!

I was just beginning to think that if that's the way Muslims are gonna act, then forget it! Buddhism was starting to look good...or even atheism!

But now I am all back to being a Muslim again. Why? Because that blood-thirsty neo-con Israeli idiot Ehud Olmert -- the nincompoop who gave us that brutal and totally unnecessary war on Lebanon -- has managed to piss me off EVEN MORE than the Islamic idiots in Iraq!

Iraqi "Muslims" are acting like they've never even HEARD of the Qur'an. Israeli "Jews" are acting like they never even heard of the Talmud! And the "Christians" in Washington DC? Hundreds of thousands of women and children in Iraq, Afghanistan, Somalia and Darfur are being slaughtered for oil? And possibly Iran is also going to be joining Bush's "Christian" parade of bloody bodies and overflowing morgues really soon? What in the world ever happened to the principles, ideals and wonderfulness of religion? Lord only knows!!!!

But I digress.

So. What has that idiot Ehud Olmert done to so TOTALLY piss me off? That idiot Ehud Olmert has just started "excavating" under the Al Aqsa mosque! "We're just looking for archaeological treasures," he said. Well! If there is one thing that Palestinians have learned in the past 60 years, it's that whenever Israeli militants start spouting off about archaeological "excavations", it means only one thing -- that your home, your mosque, your store, your olive orchard or whatever is about to be confiscated, bulldozed, destroyed or invaded by the Israeli Occupation Force and there is nothing you can do about it without getting shot at, imprisoned or killed.

So why is everyone making such a big deal about the Al Aqsa mosque, you might ask. Let me tell you. The Al Aqsa mosque is one of the most holy Islamic shrines in the world. It's right up there with Mecca's Kaa'ba. Al Aqsa is to Muslims pretty much what the Sistine Chapel is to Catholics. Historic. Sacred. Profound.

So when Ehud Olmert started talking recently about "excavating" around Al Aqsa mosque and then started laying out the construction cones and cordoning off the "site", Palestinians knew exactly what that meant: Al Aqsa mosque had just been issued the Israeli neo-con code word for "You're screwed".

Let me explain to you what is happening in the Holy Land right now. Here's an apt analogy that will help you understand why Palestinians -- and 1.3 billion Muslims all over the world as well -- are totally upset with Ehud Olmert (I surely would hate to have 1.3 billion people upset with ME!)

Having Israeli neo-cons "excavate" around the Al Aqsa mosque would be pretty much the same as if Muslims had arrived in Italy 60 years ago, drove most of the Italians off their land, stole their cities and villages and made everybody in Italy learn to speak Arabic or else. And when Italians began to protest and try to fight back against this brutal occupation, the invading Muslims built a huge wall around Rome to keep all Italians out. And then the Muslims started declaring that they needed to "excavate" under the Sistine Chapel. Now why would they want to do that? Because Muslims claimed that their ancestors used to live in Italy three thousand years ago and that gave them the right! Didn't Homer mention some ancestors of Muslims in the Iliad? Or was it the Phoenicians or Romulus and Remus they were descended from?

Well, obviously the answer could only be discovered by "excavating" under the Sistne Chapel. Hence the bulldozers outside the Vatican. And what was the fuss all about?

Bottom line: "Muslims" need to stop killing Muslims in Iraq. "Christians" need stop trying to enslave the world. And "Jews" need to keep their freaking hands off of Al Aqsa mosque.

Between George Bush, Ehud Olmert and all the idiots in Iraq, I'm tempted to resign from practicing any form of religion altogether -- and if we don't stop killing each other and don't start evolving really quickly, I might even consider succeeding from the human race altogether.

It's time for us to stop acting like territorial two-year-olds and start acting like Abraham and Jesus and Mohammed wanted us to act -- like adults!