Who's your Daddy: Does Israel pay for Palestine's kindergartens or not?
"The Palestinians can't be too angry with Israel," I told my friend George recently. "After all, the Israelis are paying for Palestine's sewer lines and kindergartens."
"Whatever gave you that idea?" answered George. "Italy helped pay for Bethlehem's sewer line and I think it was Sweden who helped Palestine fund its kindergartens."
What? Huh? That doesn't make sense. How can Israel claim that Palestine isn't a sovereign state when Israel isn't even footing the bills for Palestine's kindergartens? International politics is a mystery to me. That would be like some woman claiming that she is only partly pregnant.
Either you are pregnant or not. Either Palestine is part of Israel and therefore Israel helps pay for Palestine's kindergartens from out of the federal tax base just like in any other normal country -- or else Palestine is a sovereign state and pays for its own kindergartens.
And if Palestine does pee in the cup and the indicator doesn't turn blue and Palestine ISN'T pregnant, er, I mean, IS a sovereign state, then all those settlers, settlement blocks, bypass roads and checkpoints have no business being in Palestine.
And if Palestine IS pregnant, er, I mean, NOT a sovereign state, then Israel had better start coughing up some child support!
PS: What about sewage? Thanks to the taxpayers of Israel (and America), the West Bank settlers' sewage systems are excellent -- except for when it is harvest time on Palestinian farms which are located below the settlements. Then these state-of-the-art sewer systems suddenly begin to have unexplained "breakdowns" that flood the Palestinian village fields with large rivers of settler poop. Yuck!
PS(2): In the nineteenth century, there was a law in Palestine that stated, "If you snooze you lose." Basically, this law asserted that if anyone abandoned their land for over three years, it automatically reverted to the government. And since 1948, Israelis have used this law to claim tons of land for Israel in areas that used to be Palestinian villages -- approximately 418 of them -- that Palestinians have been forced to abandon since 1947.
Does this mean that when the Romans forced the Jews to abandon their lands in 70 AD, Jews became eligible for the "If you snooze you lose" law too -- and lost their claims to getting this land back because it's been over three years since the Romans kicked them out? Or, as usual, are laws being juggled and fudged here yet again in accordance with an even older law -- "Regardless of the merits of the case, whoever has the most guns and money wins."
PS(3): Israel was very cleaver to divest itself of financial responsibility for Palestine back in the 1990s. Now the international communities pay over one billion dollars for Palestinian roads, sewers, school and hospitals. That's money in the bank for Israel. And speaking of subsidies, American taxpayers give every single Israeli in Israel $1,000 each. I wish American taxpayers would give ME $1,000.